In my almost 15 years of being a wedding officiant, there is one question that almost every couple asks me when we first talk “How long is a normal wedding ceremony?” That, my friends, is a loaded question. Why? Because there is so much to take in to consideration. And today, we’re going to talk about some of those considerations, and hopefully help you better understand the length of some ceremonies.
Let’s first look at what types of ceremonies are out there, or at least narrow them down to a few categories. You see, just as there are billions of people of Earth, we all have different tastes, beliefs, wants, and desires. And because of this, it’s difficult to lump all weddings ceremonies in to one category.
“I just want the legal stuff”
Ok, when I receive a request like this, or get a phone call from someone who says this, I usually have to do a little digging. I’ve learned after performing thousands of ceremonies, that most couples don’t really quite know exactly what they’re looking for. In fact, most of the time when I hear this phrase, the couple does in fact want more than “just the legal stuff”. It’s very rare when a couple actually wants “just the legal stuff”.
You see, there isn’t much to the legal stuff in most states. Here in the great Pacific Northwest, these states only require an officiant to do 2 things: The Declaration of Intent, and the Proclamation. Of course, we do need to sign the legal documents as well, but in terms of the ceremony, that’s it! Two little things!!
When I have performed these types of ceremonies, the ceremony length is maybe one whole minute long. Not much to it. In fact, it takes longer for the signing of the license, and me filling it out, than the actual ceremony. Crazy right? But some couples out there only want that, and I’m happy to oblige.
“We’re eloping”
Aaaahhhh, yes… the most confusing term in the wedding industry. Elopement. For a much more in-depth article on the difference between elopements and small, intimate weddings, check out my previous blog that talks specifically about that. For today’s blog, we’ll assume everyone understands the difference. and this is the type of ceremony you want.
Due to the simplicity of this style of ceremony, it is usually a fairly fast ceremony. On average, they clock in around the 5 minute mark. Why so fast? Because it’s an elopement. There’s not a lot of fanfare, or moving parts. It’s generally a few statements, quick vows, maybe a ring exchange and, of course, the “legal stuff”. Couples who request this ceremony aren’t wanting much more than that. Plus, who needs it? Elopements usually are just the officiant, the couple, and their required witnesses.
“Short and sweet”
This statement means quite a bit to most wedding vendors. Some couples really do want a short and sweet ceremony versus a long and sour ceremony (I’m kidding!). This statement usually means one of two things: We don’t have much of a budget and we’re hoping you won’t charge us your usual rate, or they really do want a wedding ceremony without all the fluff. For me as an officiant, a wedding ceremony is a wedding ceremony whether is “short and sweet’ or it’s a normal ceremony.
As I begin discussions with couples, every time we talk about what a “short and sweet” ceremony means to them, they really want exactly the same length of ceremony that a normal ceremony length is, they just didn’t realize it. So, because of this, there’s nothing to report here because….
“A normal ceremony”
This is what I call a good old fashioned wedding ceremony. Now, sit back and relax, and think about a wedding ceremony. Everything you could possibly want involved in it, and guess what? The average ceremony is “short and sweet”! That’s right, in today’s standards, a wedding ceremony lasts about 15-20 minutes.
I know, I know… you’re shocked! You thought the average ceremony lasted 30 minutes and beyond. Nope! Unless you’re having a religious ceremony, the average today is less than 20 minutes long. In fact, it’s become so much the norm, most wedding venues I work with, when they finalize their timeline for the day, they allocate about 30 minutes total for the entire ceremony. That includes the processional, ceremony, and recessional.
Now, or course, there are ways to shorten a ceremony, and there are ways to lengthen a ceremony, but when all is said and done, a typical wedding ceremony hits the sweet spot of 15-20 minutes long. Our attention span in this culture nowadays, dictates for shorter ceremonies. And because of this, officiants have learned how to “wrap things up’ before they lose the entire audience.
You do you!
With all this stated, let me leave you with this thought: You can have as short, or as long of a ceremony as you want. It’s your wedding, your memory you’re creating, and no one else’s. If 15 minutes is too long, and you only want a 10 minute ceremony… GREAT! Do it! If you would rather have a 30 minute ceremony.. AWESOME! Do it! Don’t let anyone, including the officiant you hired, talk you into anything else. Have the style, and type of ceremony you want. And if it doesn’t fall in to these nice little categories I came up with, that’s perfectly fine.
If you need someone to help you figure out what type of ceremony works best for you and your wedding day timeline, or if you need a professional officiant, reach out to me. This is what I’m here for. I’m here to create “Ceremonies as unique as you!”