Wedding Rehearsal: Should We Have One?

When you’re getting married, it can sometimes feel like a minefield of questions. Every where you turn, there’s someone asking you something about your wedding. It can begin to feel overwhelming, especially when there’s so much misinformation online and on social media. Should we do this or that? What’s necessary for our ceremony?

Well, I hope today I can enlighten you on something that’s very traditional, and been around for a very long time. Rehearsals. Do we need them? Is it something absolutely necessary in order for you to have a successful wedding day? Well, that’s a sticky question with many possible answers. Let’s first talk about what a rehearsal is truly designed for and then we’ll discuss what kind of ceremony you’re having, and then answer those questions pertaining to your ceremony.

Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse

Rehearsals are a funny thing. Lots of times you’ll hear people, especially the older ones, tell you that you need to have a rehearsal. That you’ll be lost without one. Perhaps when the older generations got married, this was true. But it’s relevancy for most weddings nowadays is not what it once was. Allow me to explain.

You see years, decades, generations ago, many couples got married in a church. When that happened, there were a lot of religious requirements, or “rules” that the priest/pastor or the couple had to adhere to, otherwise their marriage may be considered null & void. Also, to some degree, there were a lot of traditional things to consider, not including cultural traditions that may be required to happen.

With all of these things to consider, couples may be lost as to what’s happening, and what they need to do next. So, in order for things to go smoothly, it was best for couples to do a rehearsal the day before.

In today’s world, most couples aren’t following those same traditions. In fact, unless you’re getting married in a church, or have significant cultural traditions in your ceremony, rehearsals aren’t really needed. For example, in 2023 I performed 255 weddings (yep, I was a busy guy). Out of the 255 ceremonies, I went to maybe 15 rehearsals. The reason? Because either the couple opted out of having a rehearsal, decided to save money and not have one, or they did it on their own and didn’t require my services.

Rehearse what?

So, what does that mean for you today? What does a rehearsal actually consist of now? Well, the short answer is: not much. In fact, most rehearsals last 20 minutes max! Yeah, you read that right. Most rehearsals don’t last very long. the reason why is that there’s not much to rehearse. Really, we’re just practicing walking up and down an aisle, and figuring out where everyone is going to stand.

Now, I understand there are always exceptions to this rule, but for the most part, for most weddings, that’s sufficient enough to cover in the rehearsal. Below, we’ll discuss more about when you should look at doing a rehearsal. But, I’m betting for most of you, that’s all you’ll be practicing.

There are some who expect we’ll be walking through the entire ceremony during the rehearsal, and that’s no simply the case. Why don’t I do that? Good question! Let me tell you a story to answer that.

Years ago I did a rehearsal where we just practiced the walking and lining up. At the end, a bridesmaid came up and thanked me for just rehearsing that. I thought that was a little odd, so I asked why. She mentioned she got married the previous year, and her officiant ran through the entire ceremony. She told me “By the next day, when we were getting married, it felt a little hum drum, because we had already heard everything. There were no surprises, and it felt like we’d been through everything the day before. We were a little disappointed.”

I’m not saying everyone will feel that way like she did, but I don’t want to take the chance. That’s why when I meet with my couples, I walk them through what a typical ceremony looks like, so they know well in advance what to expect. I tell them that I’m the tour guide, and they’re there for the ride. They’ll know when it’s time to do something, or when to speak. They trust me to guide them through the ceremony. I hope that makes sense.

Now, let’s look at a few different types of ceremonies, and see when you might want to consider a rehearsal.

Elopement

So, today we’re not going to discuss what an elopement is, as you can read all about those in a previous post of mine. We’re going to assume it’s just you, your future spouse, and a handful of guests.

Answer:
If you fall in this category, then there’s no rehearsal needed. It’s just you guys, and honestly what would you need to rehearse? So, you’re off the hook!

Intimate Wedding

What is an intimate wedding? Well, again, I discuss this is greater detail in another post. But for today, we’re going to say it’s you guys, a best man & maid of honor, and 25 guests.

Answer:
Not much to cover here. Honestly, your officiant could give you a quick run down right before you walk down the aisle. There’s not much to it.

Large wedding

Here’s where we get in to the thick of things. This is based solely on the preference of the couple. You have to make a decision as to whether you feel it’s a necessity, or you can go without. Many like the idea of having everything well organized with their bridal party, and some simply don’t have a huge bridal party, and therefore don’t need to rehearse.

Some couples may opt out of a rehearsal due to cost. I get it! Weddings are expensive, and you need to cut costs where you can. While others opt out because maybe they have 1 or 2 people on each side for the bridal party. If that’s the case for you, you may want to forego a rehearsal since there wouldn’t be much to rehearse in the first place.

For those who have a larger bridal party, here are some things to consider:

1.) Do you have a wedding coordinator? If so, utilize them to help run a rehearsal. Their knowledge of how things run can be invaluable to you.

They can walk everyone through how to walk, where to stand, and most importantly - how to stand. For photos, you want everyone to stand uniformly so it looks great. There is a saying in the wedding industry: “Belly buttons and buckles” Bridesmaids hold their flowers at the bellybutton, and the groomsmen at the buckle.

2.) Are you anxious when you think about the processional and recessional? Sometimes just having a rehearsal can ease the nerves a little bit. Knowing that everyone is on the same page as you can be a calming factor.

3.) Is the venue, and your vendors available? During wedding season many vendors and venues are booked solid. They may not be available for a rehearsal.

If the venue isn’t available, find a park, church, restaurant, or another venue to hold the rehearsal. When my wife & I got married, the hotel was unavailable, so we did the rehearsal at the restaurant where we had the rehearsal dinner. It may not be cost effective for you to do that, so find a public space to do a run through.

If your officiant, or wedding planner, is unavailable, many times they have resources they can send you to run your own rehearsal. Like I said earlier, there’s not much to practice. I am a busy wedding officiant, and can’t attend all the rehearsals that couples request. However, the 2 worksheets I send those couples work just as well, and I’ve had no complaints yet.

Finishing touches

So, as you progress through your planning process, and get closer to your wedding date, consider if you truly need a rehearsal. Many couples don’t, and their wedding date still goes great without one. Don’t be talked in to potentially spending more money on your wedding, if you don’t need to.

On the other hand, if its going to make you feel a little bit less stressful, and you know this is something you need to give you peace, then absolutely do it! We all want you to enjoy your wedding day no matter what.

If you’d like to discuss further how we can help you have a stress free ceremony, contact us today!

8 Unique Unity Ceremonies For Your Wedding

Decisions, decisions, decisions. As if planning your wedding wasn’t stressful enough, then comes in your officiant asking you all kinds of questions about your ceremony. If you’ve hired a great officiant, there should be lots of questions they ask about you, and also about your ceremony. It’s not as though we’re trying to add heaps more to your plate, but we want to make sure your ceremony is perfect, and consists of everything you could possibly want. And sometimes, couples haven’t considered everything. One of those being the unity ceremony.

What is a unity ceremony?

Simply put, a unity ceremony is a symbolic activity that's performed by the couple during the wedding ceremony. Parents, children, friends, and other loved ones may also participate in the unity ceremony, depending on what’s required or wanted by you.

A unity ceremony is a special part of the wedding where the couple has the opportunity to demonstrate a unique part of their relationship. This can be expressed through religious or cultural traditions, or it can even be something unique and created by the couple and/or the officiant.

Many people find inspiration online, through TikTok & Instagram, or they’ve seen it performed at another wedding. Either way, there are lots of options and varieties to choose from. Some require food or drink, while others may need special materials in order to perform the unity ceremony.

With that being said, I thought today I would cover some of the more unique ones that perhaps you’ve never heard of, or come across in other list. So, without further delay, I give you 8 rather unique unity ceremonies for your consideration.

The Combo Ones

1.) Fish Unity Ceremony (aka Pouring Fish)

This is fairly new to me. Recently, I had a couple reach out asking me to incorporate a fish unity ceremony in to their wedding. I told them “Let me think of something to say”. I then went on to Google, only to find out their were variations of what they were asking for, namely what some cultures call “Pouring Fish”. Who knew?? I combined some of the cultural significance in to the ceremony, and then came up with a few sentences on my own.

I mentioned how in many cultures fish represent abundance and good luck. I mentioned how the fish bowl was representing their new home. It was a fun way to incorporate goldfish in to a wedding. And who doesn’t like goldfish? (see picture above)

2.) Bubble Gum Unity

This one I’ve only performed once, and that’s because the couple told me what they had, and I created a whole new unity ceremony for them. They had found an old antique bubblegum dispenser in a shop, bought it, and knew they wanted to use it as part of their ceremony.

So, they found a bubblegum maker online, and had them create dozens of beautiful, big gumballs - blue for him, and pink for her. I then discussed how fun marriage can be, and while I did, they poured in their gumballs into the dispenser. Truly unique!!

3.) Painting Unity

Life can be colorful. It can also be messy. But either way, our individual lives mix and blend with not only our spouse, but any children we may have. This unity ceremony celebrates this aspect of life and marriage. A great one to be used by blended families. But don’t forget a drop cloth!

The Drinking Ones

4.) The Shot Ski

Here’s a fun one that incorporates shots! This one was a trending TikTok last year. Quite a few couples requested this one. In essence, when the ceremony is drawing to a close, the couple wants to take their first drink together and get the party started early.

So, they have a snow ski that that have attached 2 shot glasses to, and then the shots are poured. The couple each grab the ski together, and take the shot.

Now, what really unique, is not only are the forced to work together to take the shot, without spilling, but once the ski is lifted, and tilted for them to take their shot, the guests can see the bottom of the ski, which most couples will have their name engraved on (Think “Mr & Mrs Smith). Pretty cool way to announce your union.

5.) Whiskey Unity

As of this writing, whiskey is one of the most popular liquors in the world. Its popularity has really taken off since the pandemic lock down. People experimented with its flavors, and taste testing new variations. However, be warned, this unity requires patience.

Couples can find kits online, or at many of their local distilleries around town. It comes with the whiskey, and a mini barrel to add the whiskey in. And then you wait… you wait until your 1st anniversary, or 5th, or whenever. You then sit back and sip on the blend you created on your wedding day. Most newlyweds will write a letter to each other to be opened and read while they do. A fabulous way if reminiscing!

6.) Tequila Unity

This is for the party animal in all of us! So this first came on the scene through TikTok couple of years ago. There are many variations of this unity. Basically, once we’re just about finished up with the ceremony, I tell the guests it’s time for Tequila!

The happy couple, and their bridal party pull out a bottle, pour shots, and get the party started early! It’s an entertaining way of ending the ceremony, and kicking off the reception.

The Circle Ones

7.) Pizza Cutting

Each couple brings their own special flavors in to their marriage. With that being said, have fun with picking out the toppings you want for your pizza. Just make sure you have enough napkins!

We discuss the symbolism, and meaning, of the pizza. Then the cutting by you begins. Bump crusts, and dig in! Share with guests, or save for yourself to eat more while getting those last minute photos after the ceremony. Oh, and don’t forget: Your officiant LOVES pizza too! 😉

8.) Ring Warming

This ceremony had a rough patch during the pandemic. It was quite popular up until the start of 2020. Once COVID hit, people shied away from doing unity ceremonies that involved more than just the bride and groom. I’m glad to see this one climbing back up the charts.

Before the couple puts the rings on each others fingers, they pass around the rings to be “warmed’ by their guests. The guests are instructed to either pray, bless, or wish good luck over the rings while they hold them. By the time they make their way back up to the front, the rings have been placed in each guests hands for a special moment!

A uniquely unity for all!

As you can see, unity ceremonies can be serious, or, as the case is with this list, they can be fun and meaningful for all involved. After all, weddings should be a lively celebration! Not something you rush through just to get to the reception faster.

If you’d like to discuss how we can make your ceremony as unique, and fun, as you, contact us today!

10 Perfect Scriptures For Your Wedding

As couples embark on the beautiful journey of marriage, they often seek meaningful passages to incorporate into their religious or semi-religious wedding ceremony. Looking to either incorporate their beliefs, or their family’s, Scriptures are a great way to intertwine faith in to the ceremony.

The Bible offers a treasure trove of verses that encapsulate love, commitment, and the sacred bond between two individuals. Obviously, there are even more, I mean, there are 66 books in the Bible. Besides what I have listed here, there’s great Scriptures throughout Palms, Proverbs, Song of Solomon, and the New Testament.

Here are 10 of the best (most popular) Bible scriptures that resonate deeply with couples on their special day:

1.) Genesis 2:24: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

• This verse beautifully captures the essence of unity and commitment in marriage, emphasizing the leaving of one's family to form a new union. It speaks of the importance that as we marry, we are now forming our own family. Not necessarily completely leaving their family, but adding to it. They now answer to each other, rather than answering to those who raised them.

2.) 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails"

• Commonly known as the "Love Chapter," these verses eloquently describe the attributes of love, serving as a timeless reminder of the qualities couples should strive for in their marriage. When the Apostle Paul wrote this, he was explaining what love should look like in any relationship. Is there any reason to wonder why this is hands down the most popular passage for weddings? So popular in fact, I had an Atheist couple request for me to add this to their ceremony.

3.) Ephesians 5:25: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

• This verse highlights the sacrificial and selfless nature of love, drawing parallels between the love of a husband for his wife and the love of Christ for the church. If you’re striving to give someone the best unconditional love they’ve ever had, then you’ve got a great example within this reading.

4.) Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

• This passage emphasizes the strength and support found in unity, illustrating how couples can overcome challenges together and thrive in their partnership. In marriage, it’s all about teamwork. Where one is weak, the other is strong. Helping each other through the hard times, and celebrating with each other through the good.

5.) Colossians 3:14: "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

• Love is depicted as the unifying force that holds together all other virtues, emphasizing its central role in a successful and harmonious marriage. In the previous Scriptures, it explains all the different values we should have as humans, especially if you’re claiming to be Christian. Then, at the very end, it’s punctuated with the most important aspect - LOVE! Love conquers all. Love unifies everyone. Love will lead us on.

6.) Song of Solomon 8:6-7: "Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned."

• These poetic verses celebrate the intensity and enduring nature of love, portraying it as a powerful and unbreakable bond between two souls. King Solomon was a true lover. He, in essence, is trying to explain what the power of love not only looks like, but what it feels like.

7.) Proverbs 31:10-11: "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value."

• This passage extols the value of a virtuous and trustworthy spouse, highlighting the mutual respect and admiration between husband and wife. Again, written by King Solomon, who all Jewish, Catholic, and Christian scholars agree, was the wisest ruler to ever live. So, when he writes this down as a thought, you know it’s true, and worthy of us to take notice.

8.) 1 John 4:18: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

• Love is portrayed as a source of strength and comfort, capable of dispelling fear and insecurities, fostering a sense of security and peace within the marriage. It’s also a guide for us in how we should interact with our spouses. Want to have a peaceful marriage? Want to have someone take care of you? Want to have a great respect for each other? Do things in love, not in fear or intimidation.

9.) Ruth 1:16-17: "But Ruth replied, 'Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.'"

• Ruth's pledge of loyalty and devotion to her mother-in-law, Naomi, exemplifies the depth of commitment and selflessness that should characterize marital relationships. The Book of Ruth is a beautiful one. It’s about a young woman who marries, then has her husband die unexpectedly. In that time, if you weren’t born in to a clan/culture, you would move back home. But Ruth so loved her new family, and their ideals, and faith, she couldn’t imagine not being with them. She was devoted to the family. Sacrificing everything to be with them. And eventually she finds the perfect man, and things go very well for her. A great story for anyone to read!

10.) Matthew 19:6: "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

• This verse underscores the sanctity and permanence of marriage, emphasizing the divine union orchestrated by God and the solemn vow to remain united despite challenges. Marriage is a vow/promise that no matter what, you’ll stick it out. There are, of course, exceptions to this thought, but the ideology remains the same. Let nothing stand in the way of your marriage.

Incorporating these timeless scriptures into a wedding ceremony serves as a poignant reminder of the sacred covenant between husband, wife, and God. As couples embark on the journey of marriage, may these verses inspire and guide them, reminding them of the profound love and commitment they have pledged to one another.

Many couple’s not having a fully religious ceremony, find these Scriptures to be a beautiful way to incorporate faith without comprimising their vision of their ceremony.

I hope you find inspiration in these examples. And, as always, contact me today to help you create a ceremony as unique as you!

How to Include Your Pets in Your Wedding

It’s true! We love out pets!! Every where you go, you see pets all over the place. We have special cat cafe’s, parks for dogs, and restaurants have water bowls out for them, and even when you’re in need of caffeine, many drive thru coffee shops have special treats for your fur babies.

We lavish our pets with love, food, shelter, beds and much, much more. There’s no denying, many people can’t imagine life with out their pet. Perhaps, that’s why so many couple’s have started including their animal in their special day.

Including your pets in your wedding can be a fun and special way to celebrate your love for your furry friends. Here are some tips on how to include your pets in your wedding.

1. Consult with your wedding venue

Make sure your wedding venue allows animals and find out if they have any regulations or requirements, such as leashes or crates. Venues want your day to be as special as you do, however, sometimes they may be required by law to place certain restrictions on animals. Especially, if there’s food involved.

Many venues spend thousands of dollars each year on landscaping, and to ensure they landscaping (and investment) are well protected, they may not allow any type of animal on the property.

2. Choose the right role

Decide on the role you want your little guy (or big guy, depending on the animal) to play in the wedding. The three most common roles are: ring bearer, flower girl/boy, and simply escorting you down the aisle.

*** One bit of advice, if you’re planning on them being the ring bearer: Don’t give them the rings. In my 15 years of officiating weddings, I’ve seen some crazy things happen to wedding rings when an animal or small child was involved. Be a little less stress free on your wedding day, and let a responsible human be in charge of the real rings. Give Fido fake rings. You’ll still have the cutesy photos, and no one will be any less the wiser.

3. Train your pet

Practicing with your pet in advance to ensure they are comfortable with their role will be vital. If they are not professionally trained, they may become nervous, which can lead to becoming vocal throughout the ceremony. Or, they may be somewhat of a showman, and want everyone’s attention. This will lead to rolling around, making noises, and trying to draw attention. It can be cute at times, but why not have the attention on you? After all it is your big day.

Having your pet be well-behaved around large groups of people will make your wedding day all the more successful.

4. Assign a pet attendant

Your wedding day is one that has lots of moving parts. It will be emotional, somewhat stressful, and be over in the blink of an eye. The more details, and jobs, that can be delegated to others, the better. Having someone your animal knows, and who will care for them, will help you out tremendously. Make sure it’s someone who knows your furry friend well enough to be able to handle them, especially if the going gets tough. Allow someone the honor of serving you, and your pet, in this important role.

5. Dress them up

Now for the fun stuff. Consider getting your pet a cute outfit that matches the wedding theme. In 15 years, I’ve seen it all! Color coordination, tuxes, dresses, little hats, flowers, a bow tie, etc. These are great ways to include them in the ceremony.

And remember, not every animal is comfortable with things attached to them, or on their fur. So, little FiFi may get restless, and eventually tear the items off. It’s ok… just make sure you got photos before that happens. Which leads us to our final thought….

6. Capture the moment

Make sure when dressing them up, you wait until the last moment. You’ll want to capture it, and if they’ve destroyed the flowers, or outfit, it’ll be too late to have that lasting memory. Make sure to check in with your photographer or videographer to see when the best moment will be for them to capture those special moments with your pet.

And, an add-on idea, make sure you mention to them beforehand about wanting these photos. It’s always a great idea to let them know in advance and have everyone involved on the same page

Final thoughts: Remember to keep your pet’s safety and comfort in mind throughout the planning and preparation. Including your furry friend in your wedding can make for a memorable and joyful experience for everyone!

If you’d like to discuss further how we can help make your ceremony as unique as you, let us know!!

Why You Should Book Your Wedding Vendors Now

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: You should be booking your wedding vendors now for your wedding in 2023. Don’t wait!! Why? Well, let me tell you about this season we are in. And no, I’m not talking about the Holiday Season, I’m talking about an annual wedding industry season known as “Engagement Season”. This season determines how fast vendors get booked, what vendors you’ll be able to book, and how fast you should book them.

Will you marry me?

Aaaaahhhhh, Engagement Season! It’s that time of year to not only celebrate the holidays but also to get engaged. From Thanksgiving to New Years, love is in the air. Statistically, 80% of all people who get married within the year will have gotten engaged the previous year during the holiday season.

Yep! You read that right. Tons of couples put a ring on their finger during this festive time. And that means all these couple’s will hit the wedding market in January looking for the same venues, and same vendors, for the same dates. And if you’re thinking of getting married during the summer, on a Saturday, then you’re going to have an even harder time.

Are you available?

Saturday is king in the wedding industry. It is hands down, the most popular day of the week to get married. There’s not even a close second. AND, if you’re planning to get married during wedding season (for us in the PNW, that’s May through September), you may be in for an even more difficult time trying to lock things down for your wedding.

With so many couple looking to tie the knot, and wanting the same dates, vendors and venues book up rather quickly. In fact, there are many venues, photographers, and wedding planners I know who are already booked full for next year.

And, as for me, I already have 52 weddings booked for 2023. Yep, I’m a wedding officiant, and already have 52 couples who decided I’m their guy for their wedding.

How do I book you?

So, with all this being said, you can see why the time to act is now. I know it’s difficult for some to come up with money to book vendors right after the holidays, but if you can, you should.

The wave of new couples hitting the market is coming, and it’s coming fast. Just this week (between Christmas and NYE), I’ve already booked several weddings, and had a dozen other couples reach out to me for their wedding next year.

I want to help as many of you as possible, but unfortunately, there’s only so much of me to go around. And many vendors are the same way. If you like a photographers style, or you love a venue’s look, you’ll need to act fast. Once they’re booked, they’re booked.

Relax and enjoy the process

Now, my intention is not to stress you out, but I do want to give you a sense of urgency.

Above all, enjoy this time. YOU’RE ENGAGED!!! Have fun! And if you don’t get the venue or vendor you were hoping for, remember: There are lots more out there.

If you’d like to talk with us to see how we can make your ceremony as unique as you, reach out to us today! And… Congratulations!!!

The New Holiday Trend? Weddings!

I’ve been doing this for nearly 15 years, and have seen a lot. But one thing has remained constant for me, the holiday season tends to slow down for me to officiate weddings. Until now! Over the past few years, I’ve started seeing an uptick on wedding requests for the special time between Thanksgiving and New Years. And that’s a good thing for me, and for you. Here’s why: I’m available, dates are open, and you may end up saving time and money. So, sit back and read about why you should consider the holidays for your wedding.

1.) City sidewalks, busy sidewalks

In years past, so many people avoided getting married during the holiday season, and for good reason. Everyone was busy! Now, don't get me wrong, people are still busy, but not nearly busy enough that they can’t take a few hours and celebrate with you on your wedding day.

With online shopping at an all time high, people don’t have to worry about navigating through the hustle and bustle of shopping at the mall, or anywhere else for that matter. They don’t feel rushed to get presents, food for parties, etc. So, most guest will feel a little bit more at ease about attending your nuptials.

And lastly, I’ve noticed since the pandemic, more people are making time for people. That’s right! People want to see other people. They want to be around the people they love, and they want to come support you. So, guests will make time in the schedule for you.

2.) We’ll pretend that he is Parson Brown. He’ll say “Are you married?”

I’m a busy guy. By the time this year is over (2022), I will have performed 217 weddings! Whew!! And guess what… the bulk of those happened between May - October. My schedule is more open and available during the holiday season. Oh, and most weddings vendors and venues I know, also have a much more open schedule as well.

What does that mean for you? Well. instead of battling it out with other couples for venues and vendors, you can perhaps book the cream of the crop for your big day. For example, the 10 days before Christmas, I have 7 weddings booked. I know..it’s crazy!! But most of these couples, had they try to book me during the summer, I more than likely would have had to tell them I was unavailable.

Here’s an added bonus: Many vendors and venues, because the holidays fall out of wedding season, may give you a discount on their services. WIN-WIN! You get the best of the best, at a discount, and we get to book another wedding in our slow season. Everybody’s happy!!

3.) Deck the halls with boughs of holly

This reason is a great one, and many of you may not have thought about this: Tell me any other time of the year where everything is decorated. Like really decked out! None… except for the Christmas season. You walk anywhere, and there’s wreaths, trees, Christmas lights, etc. Think about it: if you get married during this festive time, chances are you won’t really have to shell out for decorations, because the place you’re looking at is probably already decorated. Look at you saving time and money!!

So, now you’ve invited everyone, and they’re coming, you’ve booked top-notch vendors, and you’ve got a great deal on a venue, that’s already full on decorated! How fantastic!!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

With those keys things in place, you can see why so many have started planning their weddings between Thanksgiving and New Years. One added bonus: you’re giving people another reason to be cheerful during the holidays, because they get to see you marry the love of your life. Good luck and happy planning!

If you’d like to discuss further how we can help make your ceremony as unique as you, contact us!!

These 3 Sources Are Great for Vendor Referrals

Wedding planning is already a big enough task with trying to figure out how many guest to invite, who to invite, find the perfect dress and/or suit, figuring out what colors and design you want to go with, where to get married, what date… I mean the list seems endless. So, in order to keep your sanity, you should consider asking for referrals. Yes! In a world where we have access to a multitude of websites and social media sites, you should also consider referrals from 3 different sources: your venue, other vendors, and your friends.

Today, I’ll try not to be long-winded, and simply give you the 3 best options for referrals. I know there are many other ways to figure out who to hire, but these three options are usually fool-proof.

We’ve seen a lot, and know who works well.

1.) Your Venue

This is hands down the best source for great referrals! Why? Because they see all sorts of vendors in action. It’s really the only referral source that sees everything, and everyone, in action throughout your entire day. From the florist, to the caterer, to the photographer, officiant, and more! They’re like Big Brother, watching everyone all at once.

Most venues keep a referral list, or what they might call a “Preferred Vendors” list. Some may only have a select few, while others keep a list of all vendors. But, if you’re looking for great vendors, your venue knows a few.

Venues have to keep a watchful eye on most al vendors. Why? Well, mainly for 2 reasons. One, for insurance purposes, they need to make sure the vendors are doing things correctly, to protect themselves, the vendors, and you. Two, they also keep a mindful eye on your vendors because it’s their reputation on the line. If a vendor screws up, or doesn’t show, it can be a bad reflection on the venue, and they don’t want their name associated with bad vendors.

I remember a couple of years ago when a couple reached out to me to hire me as their officiant. They told me they had already hired one, but when they told the venue owner who they hired, he said “no”. He told them that the original officiant was terrible, showed up late, never showed up, and he didn’t want his venue associated with this officiant any longer. So, he gave them my contact info.

Venues look out for themselves, and for you! They want you to have a fabulous experience, so you’ll refer others to them, and you’ll write them a great review.

We’ve been through a lot together.

2.) Your Vendors

Chances are, once you’ve narrowed down your date, you either booked the venue, or are getting ready to, and you’ve also probably found at least one vendor to hire right away Or, perhaps you’re midway through the planning process, and realize you still need an officiant 😉, or another vendor to accomplish more of what you want. Either way, use your vendors to the best of their ability.

Reach out to us! Seriously!! Granted, I don’t see all vendors in action, but the ones that I do, I know which ones are amazing, which ones give the best value for the price, and I know which ones to steer clear of. I have a limited amount of vendor interaction due to me being an officiant, but I can still help couples when they’re looking for a fantastic vendor.

Many times when I meet with couples, I’ll ask them how the planning process is going. If I hear they have a need for a vendor, I’ll always mention that I can refer a few that I’ve worked with, and have knowledge of. I’ve been doing this for nearly 15 years, and I’ve met quite a few vendors in my time. Let me help you figure out who you should talk to. Let your vendors help you find someone who is outstanding in what they do. We want to help! (A little secret: one big reason we want to help… it helps us have an easier day with your wedding when we know the vendors, and we know they do a great job. It just makes our day so much better.)

We’ve been down this road before.

3.) Your Friends

When my wife and I got married, you want to know how we found our vendors? The Yellow Pages. (For those who are too young to know what that is: First, you’re making me feel old, and second, it’s a phone book. You know, Google but in paper form.) The only other way to find anyone was to ask around. Some of our friends had already gone through the wedding planning process, and were married. They could give us insight as to what we might need, and who we should look at hiring.

Today, you’ve got social media, Google, Yelp, and a plethora of wedding sites to choose from. But your friends who have already tied the knot know the nitty-gritty on what vendors to hire, and which ones to stay away from. Ask them! Chances are they would love to help you. And an even greater chance that they too hired some awesome vendors.

I cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve asked couples how they found me, and they say “Oh you were the officiant at our friends wedding last year.” Love that! I love that their friends loved me so much, that they think I would do the same incredible job for them. Ask your friends, you may be overwhelmed by the amount of referrals they give you

And now it’s time for help.

I get it… it seems like planning will never stop, and you’ll run out of time, but ask your venue, your vendors, and your friends for referrals. The more exceptional vendors you have surrounding you throughout the process, the easier the planning goes.

And, as always, if you need an officiant, get in touch with me. I’d love to help make your ceremony as unique as you… and give you some great referrals!

What Does an Officiant Actually Do?

Come on, admit it, you’ve always secretly wondered what an officiant does, but you’ve been either too shy or embarrassed to ask it. Well, today I’m going to shed some light on this secret, exclusive world of officiating, and hopefully help you better understand what we do, why we do it, and what exactly you’re paying for when you book us.

But first, a little knowledge on why you need an officiant.

Whether you’re paying for a professional or having your Uncle Bob perform your ceremony, it’s important to remember: without an officiant, you’re basically throwing a huge party, and footing the bill for everyone’s drinks and food.

Most states require an officiant to be licensed in some way, shape, or form. In the Great NW, our states don’t necessarily require any registration, but you must have proof of license and be registered with an organization. Whether that be a church, religious group, or online.

Another requirement with the state is you must know how to fill out the legal document. You know, the one that looks like you’re buying a car? That’s the one that makes the nuptials official. So your officiant must fill it in properly in order for the state to approve it.

And finally, your officiant is required to do two things by law in order to solemnize the marriage and make it legal. Now, I’m not here to debate whether or not your marriage is legit because your college roommate Ted forgot to do these things when marrying you, but this is what is required. Those two things are the Declaration of Intent, and the Proclamation. Yep, that’s right! Those two thing are all that’s require of a ceremony. And yes, we do still have verbal, legal agreements in this country. Weird, right?

Now on to the whole reason why you clicked on this link:

Why do you pay what you do for what I do do?

So, now that you know why you need an officiant, let’s discuss what we actually do. Just recently I had a groom call me up, and ask me if I was available for his wedding. While we began talking about my fee, he stated “So, I pay that much for about 20 minutes of work?”

WOW! I now know why my wife gets angry with me when I come home and ask what she’s been doing all day.

First, let me say this, quite a bit of what ALL wedding vendors do, is behind the scenes. You only see a snippet of what we do on your actual wedding day. You don’t see the caterer chopping up veggies, or the photographer going through hundreds of photos and editing, or the DJ creating the music list, and carrying in all their equipment, or the venue staying up until 2am cleaning up after everyone has gone home.

We all work hard to make sure your big day is beautiful, goes off without any issues or problems, and you have the wedding of your dreams. I’m sure most all of you understand that, and we vendors appreciate it. But sometimes, some people have no clue, and that why we have to educate them on what is going on behind the scenes.

So, for me, here is a list of things I do, in a quick short order, to help you better understand why you’re paying me what I charge for “about 20 minutes of work”:

1.) I have to encourage you to book me.

That means phone calls, emails, texts, and then follow-up phone calls, emails, and texts. Answering your questions, making sure you filled out my contract, and you paid my retainer fee. Reminding you to book me before either someone else books me, or it gets too close to your wedding day. Sounds fun, right?

2.) Setting up a meeting with you.

This is where I get to know you guys. We talk all about you, and your relationship, and why you want to get married. We discuss your wedding ceremony at great length, in order to ensure you have the wedding you want. All of this allows me to create a ceremony that not only fits you as a couple, but also reflects you as a couple. Creating a personalize, unique, intimate ceremony for your wedding day. For me, this meeting is usually 60-90 minutes long with the couple.

3.) Being available to couples for questions, concerns, etc.

I encourage all my couples to reach out to me whenever something pops up, and they don’t know what to do. Listen, most people I officiate for, this is their first time. They don’t know what they’re doing, or how to do it. They’re relying on my experience, and expertise, to help them along the way. So, I tell them to be comfortable emailing, texting, or calling me as much as they need to. Do I need to do that? No. But I want my couples to feel comfortable about the whole planning process. And, added bonus, it helps when they know I’m here for them.

4.) Creating the ceremony

So, again for me, it’s all about creating a personal experience for the couple and the guests. I love it when guests come up to me, or the bride, or the groom, and ask how long we’ve been friends. That means I did my job, and helped create the perfect ceremony for them. This process also includes me following up with the couple to make sure we’re all on the same page, confirming the details of the ceremony, and making sure I didn’t miss any thing.

5.) Performing the ceremony

Now, for most people, this is a difficult task. I mean, think about it, how often are humans required to stand in front of large groups of people, and speak? Not too often. This is why it is so vital to make sure whomever you have performing your ceremony, that they can effectively communicate, speak well, and keep an audience engaged. Like I’ve said in previous posts: The wedding ceremony is the red carpet before the big premiere. It’s what sets the stage for your reception. You want them walking away, excited for you and the party that’s about to commence. You don’t want them to be hum-drum, bored to tears, and ready to head out.

One other aspect: knowing what to do , and how to do it. Wedding ceremonies are different from one couple to the next, but there are some key things that need to happen in all ceremonies, besides the legal stuff we discussed earlier. Vows, Ring exchange, etc. I can’t tell you how many times i’ve heard horror stories that someone forgot to tell the guests to sit back down, and now they’re all standing throughout the ceremony, or how great-aunt Tilda forgot to do the ring exchange. Whoopsie!

6.) Getting license signed and sent off for processing

Like I stated earlier, this is key in order to make sure you’re actually legally married. Getting the couple, and the witnesses to take a moment to fill out and sign the paperwork. Also, I have to fill out my part and sign, and ensure everything was done properly. Then, ensuring the license gets sent off for processing in a timely manner. All that fun, behind the scenes type of stuff that’s required by law.

All that for only… But wait! There’s more!!

7.) Helping with securing certified copies, and name changes

This is an added bonus for some of my couples. I always tell my couples when the time comes for them needing to get certified copies of their license as proof of marriage, or they need help with the steps of how to change their name, I mention to them to reach out to me, if they like. I’ll send them a text message/email with a mini-guide of how to do all of it, and what steps they need to take, and in what order to do it in. I want them to know, even after I’ve fulfilled my duties as their officiant, they can still use me as a resource.

Now you can see what I do do

(I know…. I said “do do” a couple of times today. That’s my inner 10 year-old coming through) 😆

I hope this helps you understand a little bit more what officiants do for their couples. Some may do more, others may do a little less, but all in all, we are doing quite a bit of work behind the scenes. So, when you hear the price from an officiant, or any wedding vendor for that matter, realize the price isn’t just about the work we do on your wedding day, it encompasses so much more.

If you’d like to discuss further how I can help you have a ceremony as unique as you, let’s setup a phone. I’d love to help you realize the wedding of your dreams!

3 Reasons You Should Take Notes When Meeting With Wedding Vendors

Let me first start off by saying, I HATE taking notes. When I worked outside of the wedding industry, just the mere thought of taking notes while in a boardroom, would send me running in the opposite direction. It’s funny though, because I understand the importance of it. Note taking helps me comprehend more, it allows me to organize my thoughts, and it helps me retain more knowledge. I take notes while reading books, going to conferences, or taking a class… yet in meetings, it drove me crazy!!

So, I get it, you are not a note taker, and couldn’t care less, but I’m hoping to sway you today… at least for your wedding. Or, perhaps you love taking notes, then this will just solidify your decision, and you’ll feel like a champ! Either way, by the time we’re done, I hope you’ll feel more confident in taking notes, and see why it’s so vitally important to do it when meeting with wedding vendors.

For this blog, we’re going to assume you’ve already booked your vendors, and now you’re having a meeting with them to discuss, in detail, your vision, what you want for the day, and what the expectation is for your vendor, and for you. And, away we go!

The Notes of Success

#1 - The first reason is for you! That’s right, it’s for you.

Planning an entire wedding can, and will be overwhelming. Most of you have never been married and/or you’ve not attended very many weddings, plus, you probably didn't pay attention to all the little details while at the wedding, and now you’ve been thrust into planning this HUGE life event, and you don’t know where to start, who to talk to, where to….aaaahhhhh… I’m stressed just thinking about it.

So, take a deep breath, you’ve hired some fantastic vendors, let us help. First, when you meet with us, plan on taking notes. It shows us, the vendors, that you’re trying to prepare, and be organized. We love seeing couples who understand that our meeting is important. We have a lot to say, and not much time to say it. We’ll be covering quite a bit, and want to make sure you understand it all. Plus. you’re not going to remember everything we talk about, and this allows you to go back, read through your notes, and get a good idea of what you need to do next.

For example, when I meet with my couples, we walk through an entire ceremony, talking about all the different options, and opportunities they have for their ceremony. I also cover how to obtain a wedding license, and all the info that goes with that. It’s a lot! And, I’m just one of the vendors. How could I, or you, expect to remember everything we talk about.

Taking notes will help you remember. Trust me, you’re going to need to refer back to your notes tons of times. In fact, you’ll probably visit them several times while planning, for different reasons. Taking notes helps you organize your thoughts, it allows you to highlight specific things you want to focus on later in the planning process, and it’ll help with your stress levels as your big day gets closer and closer.

#2 - It helps your vendors.

I know… how does your note taking help your vendors out? Just trust me, it does. Not only do you have a ton of stuff going on planning your wedding, but so do we. Not only for your wedding, but for other couples as well.

You see, for me, I handle over 150 ceremonies every year. I’ve learned a lot in the 15 years I’ve been an officiant, and I’m still learning more every year. I have quite a few couple’s who rely on me to create their wedding ceremony, and I want it to be perfect for their wedding day. If I’m constantly answering the same questions over and over again, with every couple, it takes away time I could be working on someone else’s wedding.

But if you’ve taken notes, chances are, the answer to your question, is in your notebook. Now I’m not saying I’m going to turn away a couples questions, no way! In fact, I encourage my couples to reach out to me at any time, and for any reason. However, sometimes I wonder how many questions I’d have to field daily if all my couples took notes while meeting with me.

You taking notes, will help relieve stress from yourself, as well as potential stress from your vendors. We love you guys, and want nothing but the best for your wedding day. Trust us, trust the process, and take notes. All us wedding vendors are experts in our own field, we have a lot to say, and we have a lot of experience/knowledge. It can be overwhelming talking with us about your wedding day, so take notes, so we can ensure you have all the answers you’ll need throughout the planning process.

#3 - It’s for your future self

That’s right, it’s for you again, but in the future. I’ve already eluded to this earlier, but your future self will thank you for taking notes. As the last few months/weeks/days tick down to your nuptials, you’re going to have a million things potentially thrown your way. You’ll be so grateful to be able to go back to your notes, and see what still needs to be handled, and what things you don’t need to be concerned with.

I try as best as I can not to inundate couples with too much info at the beginning, as I don’t want their heads to begin spinning, and scare them off from their wedding day. However, because there are so many important things to cover, and some of it is about the last 30-60 days before their date, I have to make sure they are aware of certain processes, and procedures, in order to have a smooth day.

I remember years ago meeting with a couple. We covered quite a bit, as I usually do, and they weren’t taking notes. I checked in on them periodically, and all seemed good. About 10 days before the wedding, I sent them my usual last confirmation message, ensuring we were all on the same page, and that the details I had were correct. Everything was well thought out, and appeared to be taken care of for a great wedding day.

As I arrived that day, I checked in with the groom, and he was nervous, but all smiles. Then, I got word the bride wanted to chat for a second. I went to where she was getting ready, and we had a nice conversation. At the end, as I always do, I checked on three things:

“Rings made it?”
”Check!”
”You have your vows?”
”Check!”
”And where is the license?”
”Hahahaha, good one Ernie.”
…
”Wait, what? No really, did the license make it?”
…
…
Bride is now going pale. “I thought we got that from you on the wedding day..”

Nope! Folks, I covered that in my meeting with them. In fact, I hit the wedding license pretty hard in my meetings. I want to make sure the couple is more than prepared for what’s going to happen. But yet, somehow, someway, it went over their heads. They didn’t take any notes, and therefore, forgot the most important thing for a wedding day.

It turned out fine, as we got a license later on, and signed it afterwards, but they now have 2 anniversaries. One for the day they got married, and one for when it was made legal.

So, again, your future self will thank you, and love you, for taking notes. Because it will help them be organized, and make sure they’re taking care of everything they need to take care of for your wedding day

Note to self: Take notes

If you’re a note taker, I’m sure this probably reiterated for you everything you already knew. And, if you’re not a note taker, I hope this opened your eyes, and persuaded you to take notes. Either way, when the going gets tough, lean on your vendors, that’s what we’re here for. We want to help you have a beautiful wedding, and hopefully take some of the stress off your shoulders.

If you’d like to sit down with me, and take notes on how I can make your ceremony amazing, contact me. I’d love to help make your ceremony as unique as you!

How Long is a Wedding Ceremony?

In my almost 15 years of being a wedding officiant, there is one question that almost every couple asks me when we first talk “How long is a normal wedding ceremony?” That, my friends, is a loaded question. Why? Because there is so much to take in to consideration. And today, we’re going to talk about some of those considerations, and hopefully help you better understand the length of some ceremonies.

Let’s first look at what types of ceremonies are out there, or at least narrow them down to a few categories. You see, just as there are billions of people of Earth, we all have different tastes, beliefs, wants, and desires. And because of this, it’s difficult to lump all weddings ceremonies in to one category.

“I just want the legal stuff”

Ok, when I receive a request like this, or get a phone call from someone who says this, I usually have to do a little digging. I’ve learned after performing thousands of ceremonies, that most couples don’t really quite know exactly what they’re looking for. In fact, most of the time when I hear this phrase, the couple does in fact want more than “just the legal stuff”. It’s very rare when a couple actually wants “just the legal stuff”.

You see, there isn’t much to the legal stuff in most states. Here in the great Pacific Northwest, these states only require an officiant to do 2 things: The Declaration of Intent, and the Proclamation. Of course, we do need to sign the legal documents as well, but in terms of the ceremony, that’s it! Two little things!!

When I have performed these types of ceremonies, the ceremony length is maybe one whole minute long. Not much to it. In fact, it takes longer for the signing of the license, and me filling it out, than the actual ceremony. Crazy right? But some couples out there only want that, and I’m happy to oblige.

“We’re eloping”

Aaaahhhh, yes… the most confusing term in the wedding industry. Elopement. For a much more in-depth article on the difference between elopements and small, intimate weddings, check out my previous blog that talks specifically about that. For today’s blog, we’ll assume everyone understands the difference. and this is the type of ceremony you want.

Due to the simplicity of this style of ceremony, it is usually a fairly fast ceremony. On average, they clock in around the 5 minute mark. Why so fast? Because it’s an elopement. There’s not a lot of fanfare, or moving parts. It’s generally a few statements, quick vows, maybe a ring exchange and, of course, the “legal stuff”. Couples who request this ceremony aren’t wanting much more than that. Plus, who needs it? Elopements usually are just the officiant, the couple, and their required witnesses.

“Short and sweet”

This statement means quite a bit to most wedding vendors. Some couples really do want a short and sweet ceremony versus a long and sour ceremony (I’m kidding!). This statement usually means one of two things: We don’t have much of a budget and we’re hoping you won’t charge us your usual rate, or they really do want a wedding ceremony without all the fluff. For me as an officiant, a wedding ceremony is a wedding ceremony whether is “short and sweet’ or it’s a normal ceremony.

As I begin discussions with couples, every time we talk about what a “short and sweet” ceremony means to them, they really want exactly the same length of ceremony that a normal ceremony length is, they just didn’t realize it. So, because of this, there’s nothing to report here because….

“A normal ceremony”

This is what I call a good old fashioned wedding ceremony. Now, sit back and relax, and think about a wedding ceremony. Everything you could possibly want involved in it, and guess what? The average ceremony is “short and sweet”! That’s right, in today’s standards, a wedding ceremony lasts about 15-20 minutes.

I know, I know… you’re shocked! You thought the average ceremony lasted 30 minutes and beyond. Nope! Unless you’re having a religious ceremony, the average today is less than 20 minutes long. In fact, it’s become so much the norm, most wedding venues I work with, when they finalize their timeline for the day, they allocate about 30 minutes total for the entire ceremony. That includes the processional, ceremony, and recessional.

Now, or course, there are ways to shorten a ceremony, and there are ways to lengthen a ceremony, but when all is said and done, a typical wedding ceremony hits the sweet spot of 15-20 minutes long. Our attention span in this culture nowadays, dictates for shorter ceremonies. And because of this, officiants have learned how to “wrap things up’ before they lose the entire audience.

You do you!

With all this stated, let me leave you with this thought: You can have as short, or as long of a ceremony as you want. It’s your wedding, your memory you’re creating, and no one else’s. If 15 minutes is too long, and you only want a 10 minute ceremony… GREAT! Do it! If you would rather have a 30 minute ceremony.. AWESOME! Do it! Don’t let anyone, including the officiant you hired, talk you into anything else. Have the style, and type of ceremony you want. And if it doesn’t fall in to these nice little categories I came up with, that’s perfectly fine.

If you need someone to help you figure out what type of ceremony works best for you and your wedding day timeline, or if you need a professional officiant, reach out to me. This is what I’m here for. I’m here to create “Ceremonies as unique as you!”

Wedding License - A Mini-Guide

You need a license to drive, a license to hunt or fish, if you’re James Bond, you need a license to kill, and yes, to make your marriage official, you need to license to wed. So, what are the rules, where do you get one, and how do you ensure everything is on the up & up with the state processing the license? I hope to help you with this mini-guide on some of the most frequently asked questions.

In no way is this an exhaustive encyclopedia of all things wedding license related, but this should help you sift through some of the misinformation that is out there. Yes, not everything you may find on social media is correct, and yes, not every rule or regulation you may read about online pertains to your state or county.

Before we get to the fun stuff, I must say that this blog pertains to mostly Oregon & Washington. For further information, I invite you to check out your local county’s and/or state’s website to see all they require where you live or where you’re getting married.

Where art thou license?

First things first, most states require you to get your license in the state in which you intend to get married. For the PNW, this is 100% true. If you live in Washington, but plan on getting married in Oregon, Idaho, or Montana, then you better plan on traveling over to the state for your license. I have seen far too many brides ask this question in a wedding group on Facebook, and receive the wrong answer. DO NOT get your license in the state where you live, get it in the state where you’ll be getting married.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, you may be asking “Great! Where do I get my license?” The answer is simple: You get it at the county clerks office. Now, where people get confused is when they’re trying to figure out what county to contact.

In OR & WA, you can get it in any county within that state. Remember, if you’re getting married in Oregon, then it needs to be an Oregon License… but the state doesn’t care which county in Oregon you’re getting married. They only care about which state you’re getting married in. So, in OR & WA, go to the easiest, most convenient county for you to get your license. Isn’t that great!

Added bonus: Make sure to hop on to that county’s website to make sure you’re bringing everything required in order to purchase your wedding license. Each county governs themselves, and sometimes they may vary slightly on what’s required.

What’s the date?

The next thing I want to discuss is the statemandated 3 day waiting period. I know, it sounds ridiculous, and quite honestly I don’t know why we have it, but both OR & WA have this. Here’s what you need to know. Once you purchase your wedding license, you must wait 3 days in order for said license to become valid in the eyes of the state. So, just because you picked up your license today, that doesn’t necessarily mean you can rush off somewhere and get married. I know, I know.. it sounds weird, but it’s a matter of fact.

Now, here’s where OR & WA split - In OR, if you need the license to become valid sooner than the 3 day waiting period, you can let the County Clerk know, and for the most part, we’ll charge you a small fee and make the wedding license valid that day. But you need to ask, as county clerks won’t offer up this solution for you,

Unfortunately in WA, this is not the case. WA will not waive the 3 day waiting period for any reason. Now, because of the pandemic, I know they’ve loosened the grip a little on certain things. but for the most part, they will not allow the license to become valid the same day. In fact, in the past, I’ve had couples who have needed to change their wedding location to OR just so the 3 day waiting period could be waived for their circumstance.

Expiring soon

You have expiration dates on groceries, on license plates, and even on wedding licenses. You need to be aware that wedding licenses are only valid for 60 days. So, if you’re planning a late summer wedding, and it’s only Spring, then there’s no reason to rush out and get your wedding license any time soon. Sit back, relax, and have an iced tea,

What I tell every couple is to figure out when 60 days from your wedding is, and that gives you your wedding license window. Once you’re within that 60 day window, proceed with acquiring the license. Otherwise, if you go to soon, the license will no longer be valid come your wedding date.

Who knew you were going to need to use math in order to get your wedding license?

The aftermath

Finally, I’d like to discuss a little bit about the process after you’ve tied the knot. What happens next? Let me start by saying, if you’ve hired a professional officiant, most of us end up taking the license with us when we leave your wedding. After all the signatures are done, and we’ve filled out our portion, we take it.

I usually handle it for the couple for 2 reasons:

1.) It eliminates the possibility of the license getting misplaced while you’re partying. Things do sometimes get lost after the reception is over, and we don’t want the license to go missing.

2.) Some counties require they get the license back within a few days of me performing the ceremony. So, by me taking it with me, it ensures for me and the couple, that it’s been sent off in a timely manner. (In fact, there are some states that its required by law for the person performing the ceremony to be the one to send it back in.)

If you want to be responsible for the task of turning it back in to the county, or you didn’t hire a professional, that’s ok. Make sure to mail it to the proper address, or walk it back in to the county clerks office.

The end is near

I know i’ve thrown a lot of information at you today, and that’s why I’m not going to cover certified copies (proof of marriage) and how to change your name. Those are other subjects for a different time. I will say this: you can find most of that information online through the county clerks office. You can also call them direct and they can help you out. Or, if you’ve hired me as your officiant, you can always get ahold of me at any time after I’ve married you, and I can give you the low down on how to get all of that taken care of.

Either way, I hope this has helped you, that’s it given you some clear information, and that you don’t get overwhelmed with the process. And, if you need additional help with your ceremony, contact me today for a ceremony as unique as you!

5 Things to Consider When Picking Your Wedding Date

The tale as old as time: You meet the love of your life, you get engaged, and then you get married. But what day? What time? When’s the perfect time to get married? Well, that’s a loaded question. It depends on different things, and it can vary for each person. I mean, if you live in Hawaii, the answer is simple: any day is the perfect day to get married. But for those of us who don’t live in paradise, let’s sift through the plethora of factors you need to consider when picking the ideal date for your nuptials.

Before we do that, let me qualify this blog by stating: some of this may only pertain to those who live in the Pacific Northwest, however, use this as a guidance sheet for your own state/location of your wedding. Every region, every state, every city is going to have their own unique set of qualifiers as to when you should plan your wedding. This guide should hopefully get the wheels turning in your head, to help you pick the very best time for your wedding.

#1 - Rain, rain go away…

The very first thing you need to consider for your wedding is what type of weather you want. Most want sunshine, especially if it’s going to be outdoors. Others want snow. And some don’t care because they’re getting married indoors.

Lots of factors go in to the season in which you want to get married. Do you want a gorgeous, sunny, warm weather kind of day? Or, do you want a brisk, colder day, with the beautiful autumn colors in play? , Do you perhaps want a blustery, rainy, fireplace blazing kind of setting?

And don’t forget what types of flowers, and colors come in to play with each setting as well. Spring has those great pastel colors, while summer has the bright palette, and of course there’s the golden colors of fall.

And lastly, thinking of the venue in which you’ll be married: when does it really shine? What parts of the year does it look best? If you don’t know, ask the venue owner. They may have flowering landscapes that look best during the late spring. Perhaps the sun sets in the Fall right behind the venue for amazing photo ops. Maybe you suffer terrible allergies, and summer won’t be the best at the venue for you.

There is so much to factor in for your perfect wedding date, and we’ve only scratched the surface with seasonal ideas. Here in the great Pacific Northwest, these factors come in to more significance when thinking specifically about weather, At the beach, in the Gorge, and even up on the mountain. Consider the snow, the rain, etc, and even travel conditions, when thinking about your wedding in one of these locations.

#2 - Your wedding isn’t the only big day

I know it’s tough to hear, but for most people, your wedding isn’t the only big event on the horizon. There are other days, and events to factor in when planning your wedding. And if you choose a date that has other significance to your guests, you may not have all of them show up for your nuptials.

Years ago one of my favorite sitcoms of all time, Seinfeld, had an episode where the main leads were all invited to a wedding on Super Bowl Sunday. It was a big deal to them. How could someone plan a wedding on such a big day? They struggled as to whether or not they would even go to the wedding. Eventually the groom made the realization that his wedding was going to happen during the big game, and made the decision to postpone their wedding.

It’s a very real thing! People will not show up for a wedding if they feel something else is more important to them. Super Bowl, the World Series, the newest Star Wars movie premier, the Brad Paisley concert. Big events either televised, or happening near your wedding location are all things to consider.

A couple of years ago I officiated a wedding in Salem, on the same day as the Oregon Civil War game. Now, most of the couple’s guests weren’t planning on attending the game, BUT the traffic came in to play with their wedding. Dozens of guests were extremely late because the traffic on the freeways were terrible. I bet if the couple had realized what they were going to deal with, they may have changed the start time, or even the date.

Huge concerts, sporting events, big conventions, or other significant occasions may in fact affect your wedding day, and possibly your guests. Something you may want to check on your local calendar when figuring out your wedding date.

#3 - How you doin’?

Another key factor is checking in with your family and close friends about your date. Think of those closest to you. Can you imagine them not being there for you on your special day? Find out if your parents have a big trip planned. Maybe your grandparents 50th wedding anniversary is that weekend. Maybe your Maid of Honor or Best Man has a huge family reunion that day.

Check in with those most important people, then pick your date. If they’ve all confirmed they’re available, let them know of the day as soon as possible. That way they can begin planning other things around your date, without any excuses.

#4 - Will you be mine?

Along those same lines, check in with all your dream vendors. That venue you’ve had your eye on. The photographer you’ve been following on Instagram for years. The caterer whose food you absolutely love. Or maybe the officiant whom you’ve been recently reading his blogs. Nothing is greater than having a couple ask me to be their officiant, and I’m actually available to serve them.

We all have other events, weddings, etc that fill our calendars. And we would hate to have to turn you away because we’re unavailable. Now, realistically, you may not get all of your top picks for your wedding date, unless you’re planning years out in advance. If that’s the case, then figure out who is most important when it comes to your vendors {officiant}, and plan your date around their schedule {officiant}. Then, hopefully, you’ll have the majority {officiant} of the ones you want {officiant}.

#5 - Just take my money!

The last thing to consider is your finances. Your budget will become a big factor when planning your wedding date. More than some think it will. You want the newest, most beautiful venue, but can’t afford the summer rate? Ask them about off-peak months or days. Quite a few venues, and wedding vendors, have special pricing for the off-season. Here in the PNW, late Autumn to early Spring are considered the slow season for many wedding professionals, and because their demand may be lessened, they offer great deals.

If your budget doesn’t accommodate for all the vendors you’d like to hire, plus securing the venue of your dreams, then perhaps it’s time to consider an off month, or a different day. Many times couples are able to save thousands of dollars just by switching their date, That’s exactly what happened for a couple I served last year. Originally their date was going to be the last weekend of September. However, by moving the date to the first weekend of October, they save nearly $2,000 on the venue. That’s crazy! Saving that much money by moving the date 7 days later. Who wouldn’t want to do that?

It’s all about you.

In the end, it’s your wedding. It’s your BIG day, not anyone else’s. If people are unable to attend, if you really don’t care about what season it is, if your budget will fit anything… than who cares? You do you! Pick the date you want, and go with the flow. Either way, you’re going to look fabulous, and have an outstanding wedding, and your day is going to be brimming with memories.

And, if you haven’t found an officiant yet, let’s talk. I’d love to help you create a ceremony as unique as you!

3 Reasons Why You Should Leave Reviews for Your Vendors

So, your BIG day has come and gone. You’re officially married, and now have a spouse! Hopefully you had a wonderful time, full of love, laughter, tears of joy, and amazing conversations. And, I hope, you were not only surrounded by all your loved ones, but you were also taken care of by some awesome wedding vendors!

So, what do you do now? Besides figuring out how to change your name, or add your significant other to your insurance and back account, how do you show some love to those that helped you plan, coordinate, and execute a perfect wedding day for you? The best way is to leave reviews.

There are three main reasons why you should share your thoughts about those you hired. You can either gush over how outstanding they were, or you can warn others about your experience. Either way, it will help future couples know who they should go after, or who they should steer clear of for their nuptials.

Wedding Industry Got Talent

Just like those popular singing competition shows, there needs to be someone who can help us to be better, and to let others know how great we are. That’s you! Every year there are millions of new couples hitting the market in search of great talent to help them accomplish their vision for their wedding day. From venue, to DJ, to photographer, to officiant, and more. They need help, just like you did.

Put yourself in their shoes for a moment. Think back to when you first got engaged, and how overwhelming it felt to start planning your wedding. Remember the stress? Where did you start? Who did you talk to? Where did you go to find talented professionals who know what they're doing?

You probably started with Google or Yelp or social media looking for advice and guidance. Then once you narrowed it down, you began checking websites, and reading reviews. Today’s brides and grooms have everything at their fingertips, and yet it still feels overwhelming, so here’s ways in which you can help!

Help me help others

#1 - The first reason why you should leave reviews is it helps me.

Believe it or not, I don’t always have couples beating down my door to help them. Sometimes if feels like it, but it’s never a daily thing. I do get quite a few referrals from previous couples I’ve officiated for, but I rely heavily on my reviews to set me apart from others. And so do other wedding vendors.

Leaving me a great review helps me stand out from others. It also help couples understand who I am, and how I conduct myself. Remember when you first met your vendors? You had really no clue who they were. Reading their reviews helped give you great insight in to who they were, and what talents they brought to the table for your wedding.

Future couples rely on you to explain your experiences with your vendors. It helps them know if they should reach out to this one particular vendor. It gives them an idea who might be a good fit for them and their wedding day.

I love it when a couple first reaches out to me and says “We read through your reviews, and wanted to get in touch to find out if you’re available”. That’s incredible! That means the reviews left for me helped them make the decision to reach out. That’s the kind of power you have when you leave a review.

#2 - Reviews are also a great tool to use for warning others.

God forbid you had a terrible experience with someone, but it does happen. The vendor was late, didn’t show up, was very demanding, or wasn’t flexible enough for you. Whatever it was, if you had a bad experience you need to warn others so they don’t fall in to the same trap as you.

I’ve been doing this for 15 years, and about 4 or 5 years ago I heard rumblings from other couples and vendors about a certain officiant in Oregon who pressured couples in to signing with him during their first meeting. Very aggressive, and then would either show up late to the wedding, or not show up at all. For years I’ve taken on couples who had the misfortune of hiring him. And yet when I went to read through his reviews, there were hardly any negative reviews. This guy should have tons of negative reviews by now. Certain venues won’t even work with him, and yet not so many unkind reviews. Because of this, every year several couples end up hiring him, and then go through the same nightmare other couples did previously.

You have the power to stop this from happening, and steering couples away from terrible vendors. Now, I’m not saying because someone has a bad review here or there, that they shouldn’t still be considered. I mean, we all have our bad days, or days where we’re a little off. However, if it’s a consistent thing someone is doing, we should be made aware of it through your review. Let others know about it.

#3 - Guess what? It also helps you.

What a great way to reflect on your wedding day! The day probably went by super fast, and now you’re left trying to remember how amazing it was. A great way to ensure those memories last is to recount them to others. They say the best way to remember something you’ve learned is to teach someone else. It really does help make things more permanent in your brain.

So, reflect on your day, and then write reviews on your vendors. As you do it more and more, certain things will stick out, it will remind you of something that you perhaps forgot about, it will help you to bring back to life all the great things you encountered throughout your day.

You can do it!

I know this can be rather time consuming for some. Perhaps you have a very busy schedule. Maybe you’re not very good at articulating your thoughts. It may be that you hired tons of vendors, and you now have to go to 6 different sites to leave each one a review.

Ok, I get it, it can be another overwhelming task, but you can do it. You know what I suggest to all my couples? I tell them to go on one site (Facebook, Yelp, Google, WeddingWire, The Knot, etc.) write out their review, and then before they send it, copy it. Then they can quickly go on the other sites, and paste it. What was going to take them maybe a half hour, had now been shaved down to 5 minutes. I even provide all the links. Ask you vendors for links to their favorite sites. If nothing else, just simply leave a starred review with no words. Either way, it helps us out tremendously!

I hope you’ll take a few minutes out of your day to sit down and write reviews. If nothing else, do one vendor a day. Then it won’t seem so time consuming. I hope this shed some light on how important it is, and the power you have to help others looking to plan their wedding.

And, as always, if you’re looking for a great officiant to help you create the ceremony you’ve always wanted, let’s talk!

The Big Giveaway

I know, I know… How dare I use a misleading title on my blog post. It’s darn near “click bait”. I wanted your attention to discuss something rather important, that most couples don’t really think about. This pertains to those being escorted down the aisle by someone of importance. And, I find when I get to this portion of my discussion with most couples, they haven’t given it any thought. So, I figured today would be a good day to discuss this subject, and help you be more prepared for your own ceremony. What is it? If you haven’t figured it out yet, we’ll be discussing whether you want to be “given-away”, or “presented”, by the person who will be escorting you down the aisle.

What do you mean?

For those unfamiliar with what I’m talking about, this is a very traditional part of the ceremony steeped in questionable ideas, thoughts, laws, and practices. For more info on all that, check out some previous blogs I’ve written about traditions in wedding ceremonies. Nowadays, this portion of the ceremony is generally thought of as a way to pay respect to the person(s) who escorted you down the aisle. For the purpose of this blog, we’ll assume the person is the father and the person being escorted down is the bride. (But you do you, and you’ll still get the point of this post)

Escort Service

So, first, we should discuss the whole “escorting down the aisle” thing, and then we can move on to the bigger question. Before we get in to the first thing, I need to first tell you something else first… does that make sense? Whole lotta firsts going on here! In my nearly 14 years of doing this, I’ve seen everything. Dad walking down bride, mom walking down bride, both parents walking down bride, bride coming down on her own, grandparents, children, best friend… you get the point.

There’s no right or wrong way to do this. You need to make a decision as to how you’ll be walking down the aisle. When I get to this point in the conversation with couples, this is where they almost always realize they didn’t give any thought at all as to how to come down the aisle. Not sure if they thought they would just magically appear at the front with a flash of a bang, and POOF! there they are, but this is something you’ll need to discuss with your significant other, the person you’re going to potentially have escort you down, and of course, you should clue your officiant in as well.

As I said previously, this is a HUGE honor for whomever you decide to use. Not everyone gets the honor of walking you down, and its a moment to be treasured for sure. Also, keep in mind, just because someone is walking you towards the front, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to give you away. But, i’m jumping ahead.

The “Giver-Awayer” (yep, just made that up)

So, if your decision on the first step is to have someone walk you down the aisle, the next question is “who?’ This could be anyone you choose. Remember, there are no rules. Typically, it’s a parental figure, but maybe you want dear old grandpa to do it. Or, maybe this is your second marriage, and you want your children to do it. Whomever it is, it should be someone of significance to you. Someone you love and cherish, and you want by your side as you walk towards the love of your life.

This is the part that always gives me chills, even after all these years. The music swells, the guests stand up, you make your grand entrance, all eyes are on you, meanwhile all you can do is try to hold back the tears, as you make your way forward…WOW! What a moment! And trust me, if you’ve decided to have someone walk beside you, you’ll need them. You’ll need them to hold you up, to help assist you forward… simply needing their shoulder to lean on. And if it’s your father and you two are close… forget about it! Dad’s gonna need you just as much as you’ll need him. He’ll be holding back tears, and just as nervous as you. (I don’t know how I’m going to make it through my children’s weddings!)

All I can say about your first appearance to walk down the aisle: stop for just a moment, let it sink in, and cherish it. Take a mental picture, and then move forward. You’ll thank me later that you did.

The Big Question

As stated previously, we’re not getting in to the whole reasons as to why this is tradition, and why or why not someone should or shouldn’t be given-away. We’re simply discussing whether this is something you want done at the start of the nuptials. Today, this is viewed more as a sign of respect for the person who is escorting you down. Plain and simple. And that’s ok if you choose not to do this for a multitude of reasons. Remember, this is your ceremony, not mine, or anyone else’s (well, expect for the person you’re marrying).

The question you need to ask yourself is do you want to be given-away or “presented” at the beginning. Plain and simple. Almost every couple I meet looks like a deer in headlights when I ask them. And that’s ok. It’s something most couples don’t even consider before meeting with me. They’re so focused on other things about the ceremony that they completely space it.

For a variety of reasons, I have never assume a bride wants to be given-away. That’s why as a professional officiant, I always ask them what their thoughts are. And for a variety of reasons, brides tell me yes or no.

Again, if you have someone who’ll accompany you down the aisle, that doesn’t automatically mean they’re presenting you at the start of the ceremony. Many brides often have that person walk them down, and then as the approach the groom they’ll pause, hug each other, and that person will go take a seat. It’s not unheard of to do this, and more common than what you might realize.

Let’s assume you’re wanting to be given-away or presented, there’s not much more to it. When you arrive in front of your beloved, and your officiant, then I’ll either ask “Who gives this bride to be married today?” or “Who presents this bride to be married today”. Pretty simple right?

After the question, then your father (remember earlier, I said we’d assume it was your dad for this blog) would say either “Her father does”, or “Her mother and father do”, or really any iteration of that. Then your fiancé would come forward, give a hug, handshake, COVID elbow bump, or high- five… really whatever they’re comfortable with, and then you two would come forward in front of your officiant.

That’s all folks!

Seems rather simple after all that, right? It really is, and yet, it can be such an emotional part of the ceremony, and of course your escort is rather nervous as well. Couples should give it some thought, and time to discuss it, as it can be a big part of your wedding day.

Remember, there is no wrong or right way to do this. You can walk down the aisle on your own, you can have someone escort you. They can either simply walk down the aisle, and head immediately to their seat, or they can give you away. And it can be just one parent, or both. It can be a relative, children, or a good friend. See, there are so many ways in which to do this.

If you need additional insight, or need to discuss more with an officiant, or you need an officiant, please contact me. I’d love to help make your ceremony as unique as you!

4 Factors to Consider When Writing Your Vows

Saying vows to one another is one of the biggest things to happen during your ceremony. The key is to make sure you’re both comfortable with the decision on how you do them. For more information on vows themselves, please see my previous blog. Today, we’re talking about writing your own vows,

Writing your own vows can be exciting, and scary, at the same time. How do you do it? How long should they be? What should you say? These are all valid questions, and concerns. I hope today to help dispel any preconceived notions, and myths, about writing vows. But first, let me drop a little knowledge on you.

What’s the deal?

Back in the day, it was more common for couples to do “traditional” vows. They were sometimes tied to religious beliefs, sometimes even regulated by laws decreed by monarchs. It was very common for the clergy to say the vow, and have the couples repeat them. An actual vow, which according to the laws back then, could be held up in a court of law. A verbal agreement witnessed by people, and then a document signed by the couple, the clergy, and witnesses attesting to the fact they heard this “verbal agreement” or vow. Sound familiar? Yep, in today’s version we still do all of that, but most societies aren’t as stringent as they were back then.

Nowadays, believe it or not, it’s more common for couples to write their own vows, or what many now call “Personal Statements”. They still have the same meaning, but you actually get to say what you really want to each other during your ceremony. In fact, it’s estimated that over 80% of couples who get married today, decide to write their own vows versus repeating a traditional vow.

Writing your own vows can be a very personal time, reflecting on your relationship, and telling your beloved everything in your heart. When guests find out the couple have written their own vows, they usually perk up, lean in, and listen closely. They can be emotional, deeply intimate, and amazing. (A little secret, there have been some I’ve heard over the years that actually made me tear up!)

I know this can be a very stressful thing for you to do, and that’s why some couple’s still opt for the traditional vows, because they just can’t write out what they want to say. Not everyone waxes on eloquently on paper, not everyone is a poet, and not everyone is a romantic. Let me say this: that’s ok. We’re not asking you to be that way. So, let’s take a look at some key factors when it comes to writing your vows.

#1) My lovely love, I love you

Writing your vows can seem quite confusing. There is a lot of misinformation out there, and sometimes we can be misled as to what we should write, and even how to write it. Let’s boil this down to its very essence. At the core of your vows, it’s basically a love letter you’ve written to each other… you just happen to be reading it in front of everyone.

Pretty simple stuff, if you think about it. Think about all the wonderful things your significant other brings to the relationship, ponder why you love them, and then try to imagine a day without them. You there? Good! Write from those emotions, and you’ll do just fine.

#2) Take 1 part love, & 1 part promise and mix

Now that we’ve got you in an emotional place to write, there are really two parts to your vow. You don’t have to use this recipe, but if you’re really struggling with what to write, these two elements should help get you on your way.

1.) In Love
The first half of the vow should be why you fell in love. What qualities made you fall madly in love? Think about their personality traits, maybe intellectual components, and, of course, you can always add in how smoking hot you thought they were. Be real, be honest, and have fun! Sometimes our loved one hasn’t heard these things in awhile and need to be reminded why we think they’re so special.

2.) I promise
The last half of the vow should be what you promise to each other throughout your marriage. What do you want to make sure they know about this marriage? Think about what you’re going to do in this marriage to make sure it’s successful. Keep in mind, you can also have fun in this section as well. Throw in something to make them laugh. Maybe you promise to let them win an argument every so often, or you promise to not watch the next episode of Ted Lasso without them. Keep it fresh, allow it to be emotional, and, again, have fun!

#3) There’s no one better than you!

One of the biggest key factors, and can make this vow amazing, is you! Sometimes couples think that because it’s their wedding day they need to be extra romantic or flowery in their vows, and that simply is not the case. You should be you. Your vow should reflect your personality. There’s a reason your fiancé fell in love with you.

If you’re naturally funny, then your vow will probably be more light-hearted. If you’re naturally romantic, then your vow will probably be more loving. If you’re a person of few words, then your vow will probably be shorter. You get the point. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Everyone will appreciate it,

#4) Time is on our side

Occasionally with couples I meet, they’ll ask if there’s a time limit on their vows. Technically, the answer is no, you could ramble on for as long as you wish. I mean, it is YOUR wedding, so take all the time necessary to speak what’s on your heart.

However, if we factor in the attention span of most people, then the actual answer is around 2 minutes maximum. The reason for this, is we want your guests to be engaged in this moment. We want everyone on the edge of their seats. If you go over 2 minutes, some may start to get bored, or have their minds begin to wonder. While, again, this is your ceremony, and you can do whatever you like, if you are concerned about guests, then keep it to under 2 minutes.

Write on!

If you can keep these factors in mind when writing your vows, I know you’ll do great! The key is to view it as a love letter, breaking it down in to what you love about them & what you promise throughout your marriage, being yourself, and making sure it’s not too long. But the most important thing is to have fun!! I can’t wait to hear what you’ve come up with. I know its going to be beautiful, emotional, and amazing!

And don’t forget: your officiant is a great resource to help you along the way. If you haven’t hired someone yet, please reach out to me. I’d love to serve as your officiant, and make your ceremony as unique as you.

3 Reasons You Should Not Set a Timeline Right Away

I know, I know… I have preached for so long that you must be well organized, and you should plan as early as possible. But today I’m going to advise you to not set your ceremony time right away. Now, i’m not saying you shouldn’t set it early on, i’m just going to advise you to rethink your wedding day, and how to plan it.

I realized I may get my hand slapped by wedding venues around town for suggesting this, but I want you to take a moment and look at the whole picture. Sometimes outside influences try to get you to commit to a certain time for your wedding ceremony, but I say wait. Don’t let them dictate to you when you need to have your ceremony. Hopefully, if you consider the following, you’ll relieve yourself of unnecessary stress, and it will help the planning process go a little more smoothly for you both.

Where did this come from?

Before we get in to the 3 main points, let me explain where my thoughts on this come from. Throughout my years as an officiant, it has become pretty normal throughout the year to receive a request from a couple to officiate their wedding, and I already have a wedding booked on that day, and time. Unfortunately, I have to send them a message back that I’m already booked for that timeframe. Here’s where it gets a little iffy: sometimes these couples are reaching out to me a year in advance. I send them back a message asking if the time is set in stone or if they have flexibility. Sometimes they can be a little flexible, and I can continue on with working with them, as I can handle more than 1 wedding in a day. However, more times than not, I get a response back that the time has been set firmly by them, or by their venue. I’m left thinking “You’ve set a time a year in advance already?” Not even the NFL, MBA, or NBA does that??

And so now, here are the 3 reasons why you shouldn’t be so quick to set a timetable yet, especially if your wedding is 6 months or more out.

The list

1.) You!!
That’s right… you! First things first, this is your wedding day, you should be in charge of when you want to get married that day, not the venue or your wedding planner. There should be no pressure from anyone to immediately pick a wedding start time. I’m not saying that there will be, but there can be pressure from others.

Remember earlier when I said some couples tell me that they’ve already got their start time permanently set 12+ months out already? Yes, sometimes those couples are told by either the venue, or wedding vendor, that they need to know a start time right away. That is incorrect. Unless your wedding is less than 90 days out, that should no matter… yet.

You see once most venues book a couple, that’s it. They are not able to book another couple for that date. And with most wedding vendors, the same parameters apply. A photographer, a wedding planner, etc cannot book more than one wedding in a day, in most cases, because once they book a couple, they’re booked for most of the day with that couple. So, when the venue, or certain vendors ask you what the start time will be, you can say “TBD” or give them a ballpark idea. Let them know you have other things in consideration for the day, and will get back to them as soon as you possibly can.

2.) Family & guest
Now, I know this is your day, and you should have your wedding according to your timetable, but sometimes we do need to be aware of the challenges for some to attend your wedding at a certain time. Sometimes, depending on the day and time you pick, your family and friends may not be able to attend. Perhaps it’s work… there’s always work. Or, it’s a daily routine schedule. This happens frequently with elderly guests. Maybe they can’t drive at night, or they have daily appointments with doctors.

There’s no way you’re going to pick the absolute best time for everyone to attend, however, if they are an important part in your life, and you desperately want them to attend, then you will have to be conscious as to what their schedules are, and work your timeline around it.

3.) Other wedding vendors
Yep! Of course i’m going to mention this. Again, all these couples who do their research, reading reviews, looking through websites, and then ultimately making the decision as to who they want to reach out to for their wedding day to see if they’re a good fit. And then it happens, the time doesn’t work for that vendor, because they already have a wedding that same time, on that same date. It happens.

Before setting an official time for your wedding, you should check with other vendors to see if that time will work, if you can be flexible in the time when reaching out, you may be able to book that one vendor whom you love so much, that you’ve been following on IG and FB for the past 2 years.

I’ve mentioned this before, I will sometimes do more than 1 wedding in a day, especially during wedding season. If a couple can be flexible in their time, most times I can help them out, even though I already have a couple booked. I remember a couple years ago when I was contacted by a bride, She wanted to book me so badly. She told me she’d been following me on social media for a couple years, in hopes that one day her boyfriend would propose, and she wanted me as her officiant. I was floored and completely flattered. I mean, following a caterer, a baker, a photographer - that I could see, but following an officiant!? Wow!! Needless to say, I had a couple already booked for the same day and time. But, her time was flexible, and we were able to work together later that same day, with no issues whatsoever with her venue, or her vendors.

Believe it or not, I’ve had several over there years change their time in order for me to officiate their wedding. Crazy, right? But i’ve had TONS I've had to turn away, because for some reason they’ve settled on a starting time already, even though they’re 14 months out. I know to some it may sound ridiculous to wait on scheduling out your timeline. And to be honest, if your wedding is within 90 days, then don’t wait. But if you’re wedding isn’t for quite some time… wait!

You wouldn’t invite all your friends and family to the newest Star Wars & Marvel crossover movie, tell them to meet at 3pm, and then get to the movie theater only to find out the theater isn’t open until 6pm? So, why setup a timeline when you haven’t hired all your vendors yet?

Take a moment, and look at the big picture

So, am I telling you that you should wait to settle on a start time until you’ve talked to me? Yes, absolutely! I want to officiate all your weddings. Is that feasible? Not all the time. I get it. There are tons of factors that go in to planning a wedding, Sometimes it just won’t work, no matter how much flexibility there is. All I ask is before someone potentially tries to force you to commit to a start time, consider all the variables at play, and ask yourself if that time will work for you, will work for your honored guests, and will work for other vendors you want to hire. If you can do that, it will help with frustrations, headaches, and rearranging your entire wedding day.

If you’d like to discuss further how I can help you on your wedding day, don’t hesitate to reach out! I’d love to help create a ceremony as unique as you!!

Back It Up

With the sun literally setting upon summer, it’s time to think about wedding plans for those getting married in autumn and winter months. However, this is the Pacific Northwest, and quite honestly this advice is great for couples planning weddings during any season. As you know, the weather here can change dramatically at any given time.

So what is this great advice?

When it comes to any wedding ceremony planned for outdoors, have a bad weather backup plan. You never know when you’re going to need it. Bad weather backup plans are essential for PNW weddings. The constant change in our weather makes it a necessity when planning your outdoor wedding.

The other morning I got up to come in to my office. I spent time with my kids and wife, got myself ready for the day, and walked outside to a beautifully, clear day. We have been blessed recently here in Oregon with some truly gorgeous days. Throughout this summer, we have had little to no rain fall. Great for wedding season! However, as I made my way to my car, I noticed it looked tremendously filthy. Yesterday, it was gleaming in the sunshine, and now it appeared as if someone took dirty water, and splashed all over my car. Then, as I took a moment, and looked around, I noticed all the cars in the area looked like that.
What happened? A freak rainstorm came through late in the evening, without any warning. My weather app didn’t mention it, don’t recall the weatherman on the news last night saying anything about it, It just happened.

This happens all too frequently here in our state. Some random weather pattern change, brings in rain clouds, disrupts our plans, and then moves on like nothing ever happened. It’s annoying, frustrating, and can ruin even the most thought out, well executed plans we had for the day. I cannot tell you, over the course of 13 years, how many weddings I’ve done outside when a rain, or thunder & lightening storm, comes out of nowhere, and we’re either forced to endure the bad weather to get through the ceremony, or everyone is forced to scramble for safety.

When making plans for your outdoor wedding, they better include an indoor backup… just in case!

🎶 The sun’ll come out tomorrow 🎶

Let us not forget one thing: the summer of 2021 reminded all of us, that occasionally the PNW gets a little hot. It’s not just rain we need to be concerned about, it’s also extreme heat. I was born and raised in Oregon, and lived my entire life here. I don’t recall a hotter summer than this one. More days in triple digits than any other, and more days in the mid to upper 90’s. Sweating, overheating, sapped of energy, miserable, and did I mention sweating?

Your guest love you, and are excited for you, but… my God! They need to be comfortable! You need to be comfortable! And for the love of God… I need to be comfortable! I know, you want your special moment to be captured outside, near a pond, with the mountains behind you, and there’s no trees blocking this gorgeous view. But that also means, there’s no shade. But it’s too hot! I’m willing to do anything for my couples, and so is your photographer, and your DJ, etc., but sometimes it just makes sense to move indoors. Keep in mind, cameras and DJ equipment can only withstand so much heat, before they stop working in order to cool down.

Sometimes, you just need cool, crisp, glorious air conditioning to keep everything running smoothly, to keep your guests happy, and for you guys to be comfortable and enjoy your big day. Plus, you’ll look better for photos, and not like you just ran a marathon in your tuxedo or dress!

Take shelter!

I realize it’s easier said than done, but this is why you need to consider this advice when planning your outdoor wedding. If you’ve booked a venue, ask them about the possibility of using the indoor space, just in case. Many times venues will have their staff on stand-by to ensure the move indoors happens without any hiccups. They are more than happy to accommodate you and your guests.

If you’re planning an outdoor ceremony that’s not at a venue, swing by your preferred location, and see if there’s an outdoor structure available to rent or use, in case of a sudden change in the weather. If said location doesn’t offer a structure to use, then consider bringing umbrellas. They work great for shade in the sun, and protect you during the rain.

No one wants to think about how weather may adversely affect their wedding, but the reality is that often times it does.. without warning. Having a backup plan for weather can save the day, and allow you to keep the wedding day celebration on track.

P.s. In case you were wondering: Yes, I did get my car washed… again!

3 Dont’s On Your Wedding Day

Did that grab your attention? Good! Obviously we could list off probably a dozen different things, but these 3 are the most common, and eat up the biggest chunks of time on your wedding day. Heed my advice, your wedding day is going to fly by! You’ll be getting ready, and then BLINK! You’re saying your vows. BLINK! You’re walking down the aisle, married. BLINK! You’re cutting the cake. Blink! You’re tossing the bouquet/garter. BLINK! It’s over.

Yep… that’s pretty much how fast it can go. Add on additional responsibilities for yourself, and the day goes by much faster. Trust me: delegate, delegate, delegate. For those who like to be in control of everything, say it with me: Delegate, delegate, delegate.

1.) Don’t be a planner

Ok, let me rephrase that: Don’t be your own wedding planner/coordinator. Still plan… planning is good! But on your wedding day, don’t be the one trying to get everything organized, setup, and done. Now, I realize sometimes wedding planners/coordinators can be out of some budgets, but if you can afford to at least hire a day of person, do it! If not, find someone you trust who can take on this massive task. And when I say massive, I mean it.

This is your BIG day! One you may have been dreaming about since you were a child. Even if you’ve planned everything else leading up to the wedding day, have someone take over for you, and run your wedding day. I know it can be difficult sometimes to give up control, especially when it’s such a huge moment, but it needs to be done.

Enjoy your day, instead of running around handling all the little tasks that need to be done. This is one day where the universe shines upon you. People naturally want to help assist you on this day. Let them! The more moments you don’t have to be concerned about the flowers, food, decorations, etc, the more time you’ll have to enjoy your moment. And HUGE added bonus: you’ll actually have time to enjoy each other more too!

The key to success on this tip is spending time with the person who you hired, or who you designated as your go-to-person before the wedding day. Schedule time with them to discuss everything you’ve planned for, want and desire. Give them insight as to what your vision is, and then release them to make it happen.

2.) Don’t be a babysitter

Wow! This is a tough one, but a necessary one. Before I get in to this, you must understand, I have four children of my own, and understand how this can be challenging, but in order for you to get through your wedding day as easy as possible, you’re going to need to do this. Don’t be the one responsible for your child/children on your wedding day. Have a trusted friend, family member, babysitter to be in charge of your kids.

Years ago, when my wife and I were youth pastors, as we were coming up through ‘the ranks’, a pastor friend of ours gave us this great advice. He said “the more control you can give someone else over your children, the more time you can focus on the tasks at hand”. You see, I was being requested to speak at all kinds of events, camps, etc., and my wife was my support. Add in to the mix of children, and it could quickly turn in to chaos before I walked out on to the stage. However, if we had our babysitter with us, she was able to keep them entertained, happy, fed, and focused on other things other than mommy and daddy.

I love my children as much as you love your children, but they can consume quite a bit of our time, time that you should be focused on your wedding day, and preparing for the day’s festivities. Let someone take care of our precious offspring for the day. There will be plenty of opportunities throughout the day for you to spend time with them. Doing this allows you time to enjoy your day, while celebrating with the children around.

3.) Don’t clean up your mess

This one is actually two-fold: don’t be responsible for setup or tear down. Sometimes couples are very fortunate, and can book a venue where they take care of all the necessities, or perhaps you were lucky enough to hire a planner/coordinator. If that’s the case: congratulations on being one of the few who doesn’t have this concern. However, there are tons of couples who do, and this tip is for you.

Picture this: it’s an hour before your wedding, you and your fiancé are running around trying to get decorations up, getting the food set, arranging tables and chairs, plus you still need to go get changed for your ceremony. Oh, and did I mention it’s 95 degrees out? So, now you’re a frazzled, tired, sweaty mess, and you still have to put on a smile, and try to enjoy your day. Then, once your guests has left, it’s late, you’re still tired, and frazzled, and now you have to clean up after 100 guest, whilst still wearing your wedding dress/suit. Sound like fun? Do you think this couple enjoyed their wedding day, or did it become more of a chore, than an amazing moment in life?

Find friends, and family you can depend on, and ask them in the sweetest, most lovely way, if they’ll help take care of setup, and clean up. Make sure they understand your vision for the reception. Make a list of things that need to get done, where things go, and what you want it to look like. Then, most importantly, at the end, make sure they understand what’s to be kept, and what’s to be thrown out. Make a list of what’s trash, what’s donations, and what’s to be returned to the rental company. Lists are good! Lists keep everything organized, and allow everyone who’s volunteering to be on the same page as you.

Easy-peasy, right?

If you can get these three things covered on your wedding day, I know it’s going to be amazing, and you’ll be able to enjoy yourself, and spend the maximum amount of time with your beloved. For other great ideas for your wedding ceremony itself, contact me. Let’s discuss how we can make your ceremony as unique as you!

A History of Wedding Traditions

If you’ve ever attended, or been involved in a wedding, I’m sure at some point you’ve asked yourself, or someone else: “Why did they do that?” or “What’s the significance of that?” Well, today I hope to dispel, and demystify some of these ancient traditions. Some of them are still very much entrenched in today’s wedding ceremonies.

Who gives a crap?

I know, I know… such language from a wedding officiant. But I wanted to see if you were still with me.

So, let’s visit the tradition of giving away the bride. Now, for more info on this subject, you can read through some of my previous blogs where I discuss this in somewhat greater detail. Today, we’re discussing the tradition of this. not pontificating on whether or not we should still be doing this.

”Who gives away this woman to this man today?” or “Who gives this bride to this man today?” This is a tradition steeped in not so great human history. Whereas the woman (bride) was thought of as a piece of property, that the father could in essence transfer “ownership” from himself to another (the groom). Even though this may not sit right with most of you, it is today considered something done in regards to honor, and show respect to a bride’s father, in order to show he sends his blessing to their marriage,

Your honor, I object!

Ok, before I get in to this next one, let me say this: I have never asked, nor will I ever ask this, in any of my ceremonies I perform. In fact, most officiants I know have never asked this.

”Does anyone here object to this marriage?” This was a customary thing that happened throughout all marriage ceremonies centuries ago. We’ll cover both reasons:

1.) Back then travel between towns was long and hard, Communication between towns was difficult as well. So, sometimes someone may get tired of their family in one town, and then move on to another, eventually falling in love, and wanting to get married. However, because it was even more difficult to divorce the spouse you left in the other town, many times people would just move forward with getting married, without dissolving the first marriage. Thus, it was necessary for those performing the wedding to ask if anyone objected, to allow someone who may know the other family in the other town to protect said family, and discourage any further behavior from anyone else.

2.) Recalling that women were sometimes thought of a property, many times the father would receive a dowry, or land, in order for the suitor to marry the daughter. Many times, the father may be dishonest in his dealings with the suitor, unbeknownst to them, and this would allow someone to speak up and alert the groom of the discrepancies.

A well kept secret

The bridal veil, and not seeing each other before the ceremony, are one in the same when it comes to this tradition. You see, back in the day it would be very common for arranged marriages, Often times, the couple did not know each other, and had never met. Keeping the bride hidden, or hiding her face with a veil, would prevent the groom from possibly running from the altar if he happened to dislike her appearance. I know, this is another tough pill to swallow, but times were very different centuries ago.

🎶 It’s a nice day for a white wedding 🎶

There are quite often misconceptions about how this tradition started. Many believe it has religious connotations to it, but that’s simply not the case. In terms of wedding traditions, this one is actually a “new tradition”. Wearing a white wedding dress dates back to Queen Victoria, who wore the first white wedding gown.

Back then, women usually wore their nicest dress to their wedding. Royalty, of course, had the finances to purchase new clothing for special occasions. So, when it came time for weddings, they could commission a whole new wardrobe for the affair. White material was seldom used, as it was difficult to maintain, and keep clean. However, being the trendsetter she was, once Queen Victoria decided on white for her special day, that’s all it took. Since then, this “tradition” has continued on to present day!

Would the real bride please stand up

Bridesmaids… without them, what is a girl to do? But why do we have bridesmaids, and why do they have to look the same? So, bare with me, this one is a little on the strange side. We have to remind ourselves, thoughts, ideas, and beliefs were a little different than they are today.

Originally, bridesmaids were dressed identically to the bride in an effort to confuse evil spirits, and even bandits, who might try to kidnap the bride! Even though they all still dress the same, for the most part, their tasks have changed slightly over the years. Today, they help assist the bride in getting dressed, and helping her day go smoother by taking on various jobs throughout the day.

Right hand(ed) man

I get this question asked quite a bit right before we head down the aisle: “Which side does the groom stand on?” Honestly, today is doesn’t matter much. Stand on whatever side you and your spouse have agreed upon. Traditionally, the groom stands on the right (my left) and the bride on the left (my right). Why is that? Because back in the day, it was common for men to carry a sword. Historically, the sword was worn on the right hip. If a challenge arose during the ceremony, the groom could quickly draw his sword, and address the issue without fear of hurting or harming the bride.

Let them eat cake!

We’re actually going to cover two traditions with this one, as they both play a part in the wedding day festivities. During the Middle Ages, instead of cake, bread was served to the guests. Sugar wasn't readily available, and often time other sweeteners were very rare and expensive. Many cultures, it would be customary for the groom to sprinkle bread crumbs over the brides head as a symbol to show he would provide for her and/or to show he now “owned” her.

As cake became more common, it would be difficult to hold and sprinkle it over the brides head, so it became common to smear the cake on the bride in place of sprinkling the bread. Today, we’re a little kinder (well, some of us are) by simply feeding cake to each other.

It’s a toss up

Tossing the bouquet and the garter belt is such a staple of wedding receptions, but why do we do it? According to ancient wedding history, the brides dress was considered good luck. So, other women attending would try to rip apart the dress. To escape the women from tearing her gown to shreds, she would toss her flowers as a distraction and run!

Throughout the centuries, it morphed in to bouquet being tossed up in the air to the single ladies attending (superstition says whomever catches the flowers will be the next to marry). As this new idea caught on, the garter toss became the men’s variation of the flower toss. In this way, they could highlight who was single at the celebration, and possibly match them up.

We’ve cover quite a few of our common traditions here. History always has a way of seeping in to our every day lives. Which one are you excited about, or not looking forward to? What other odd traditions are you considering for your wedding day?

And as always, if you need additional help with creating a ceremony that’s unique as you, contact me today!

Take advantage of your head-start

Can we all agree: 2020 has been a rough year! I have had so many couples either cancel, or postpone this year, it’s been unreal. And those that went through with their weddings had to scale back, or change so much, it was merely a shell of what was once their dreams. And here’s the craziest news... it’s only going to get worse next year!

Now, before you head to your local Costco and stock up on food for a year, and prepare for the zombie apocalypse, hear me out. It’s only going to get worse for some, perhaps not you. 

Tell me something good

If you’re like most couples currently, you’ve had to change up your plans. You had your venue booked, guest list done, dress and suit ordered, food ready and then BAM! COVID-19 hit!!

You were left scrambling, trying to figure out if you should postpone to later in 2020, move the date to 2021, or scale back to just you guys and a couple of guest. It has been frustrating, to say the least. Both for you, your guests, your families, and your vendors. 

But wait, there’s a silver lining! I know it’s hard to hear there’s a positive, when you’ve been through so much this year... but there really is. You have a head-start on other couples! You can take advantage before others realize what’s happened. And it will greatly benefit you when it comes to planning your wedding for either 2021 or 2022, if you act now! 

But first, a little wedding industry history

I want to tell you what’s happened over the last couple of years, and give you some insight as to what’s been happening in the wedding industry. You see, not everything has been sunshine, rainbows, and roses over here either. We have to travel back to 2018....

One thing you must understand, in the wedding industry there’s this thing called “Engagement Season”. It’s the most wonderful time of the year (you’ll be singing that Christmas song for the rest of the day). This “season” is when the bulk of couples get engaged. It happens between Thanksgiving and New Years Eve. And here’s the amazing part, 80% of those couples will get married the following year. Crazy, right?

So, back during Engagement Season 2018, all these couples took this BIG step in their relationship. And what was supposed to happen? 80% of them were supposed to get married in 2019. But it didn’t!! Instead, many opted to get married in 2020, because they wanted to have a very unique, and cool, year for their wedding date. Many wedding vendors, in 2019, saw a slight dip in their bookings because of this. In fact, it was estimated that 2020 was going to be the biggest year for weddings since 2000 - another unique year (side note: my wife and I were married that year)!

Then, during 2019, Engagement Season hit again. And what do you think happened? 80% of those couples started planning their wedding for 2020. And the wedding vendors began to salivate at the prospects of having a huge, banner year. 

As we gleefully booked our calendars full for 2020, we had no idea what was going to happen....

Hindsight really is 2020

Two years worth of couples began to plan their weddings, and vendors began to prepare for their biggest year yet. It was a simpler time back then. People were happy, they hugged, shook hands, coughed and sneezed without a worry... but March 2020 had other plans!

As the pandemic hit, everyone was left scrambling. Daily the restrictions and regulations changed. What do we do? Do we stay the course, or change our plans? No one seemed to have a definitive answer. And, as I’m sure most of you realized, weddings were not going to be the same. Most pushed off, and were forced to wait another year. And it sucks! It’s been hard on you, it’s been hard on your families, and, believe it or not, it’s been hard on your wedding vendors as well. 

We have struggled with you. Many great vendors I know, have had a tough year - emotionally, and financially. Some that I know personally, have had to close up shop, and that’s devastating to hear. But we have 2021 to look forward to, and I can’t wait!

And now, good news! Drumroll please....

You’ve kept with me this long, and now here’s your reward: your advantage!!

Remember how I stated there’s a thing called “Engagement Season” that’s happens every year? Remember how I told you 80% of those couples will get married the following year?

Well, at this point, you have an advantage over all of those couples before Engagement Season hits this year! You see, those couples haven’t gotten engaged yet, they haven’t started planning their 2021 weddings yet, and therefore, you have a head-start. 

You’ve already ordered your clothes, you’ve already lined up a venue, and you’ve already booked phenomenal wedding vendors. And if you haven’t, you can before they’re all snatched up!

2021 is now primed to be the craziest year in the wedding industry. We have not one year’s worth of couples, not two year’s, but three year’s worth of couples! (2018, 2019, & 2020 couples). All these couples will be looking at the same venues, photographers, caterers, etc. They’re all going to be clamoring for the same dates, times, etc. But you can get things locked down early, and before everything is booked! Isn’t that exciting?

Just to put things in to perspective: I’m a wedding officiant. Most couples don’t start looking to hire me until about 6 months before their wedding date. Occasionally, I’ll hear from a bride who’s very organized, and they’ll book me out a year in advance. 

In a normal year, at the end of September, I would have roughly 5 or 6 weddings booked for the following year. As of right now (end of September), I have nearly 40 weddings already booked for 2021. Couples have signed the contract, and paid the deposit. Many of them postponed until next year due to the pandemic, but quite a few locked me in early because they knew what was going to happen next year. 

So, you now have some wedding industry insider information. You now understand about Engagement Season, you now know how many couples will be planning for their 2021 weddings, and you know what to do: get planning! 

If you haven’t booked all your wedding vendors yet, book them. Get them locked in before Engagement Season 2020 hits. Don’t wait until the last minute to call a baker, or a videographer, or an officiant 😉. You have an advantage, use it!

Good luck to all of you and congratulations!!!