Come on, admit it, you’ve always secretly wondered what an officiant does, but you’ve been either too shy or embarrassed to ask it. Well, today I’m going to shed some light on this secret, exclusive world of officiating, and hopefully help you better understand what we do, why we do it, and what exactly you’re paying for when you book us.
But first, a little knowledge on why you need an officiant.
Whether you’re paying for a professional or having your Uncle Bob perform your ceremony, it’s important to remember: without an officiant, you’re basically throwing a huge party, and footing the bill for everyone’s drinks and food.
Most states require an officiant to be licensed in some way, shape, or form. In the Great NW, our states don’t necessarily require any registration, but you must have proof of license and be registered with an organization. Whether that be a church, religious group, or online.
Another requirement with the state is you must know how to fill out the legal document. You know, the one that looks like you’re buying a car? That’s the one that makes the nuptials official. So your officiant must fill it in properly in order for the state to approve it.
And finally, your officiant is required to do two things by law in order to solemnize the marriage and make it legal. Now, I’m not here to debate whether or not your marriage is legit because your college roommate Ted forgot to do these things when marrying you, but this is what is required. Those two things are the Declaration of Intent, and the Proclamation. Yep, that’s right! Those two thing are all that’s require of a ceremony. And yes, we do still have verbal, legal agreements in this country. Weird, right?
Now on to the whole reason why you clicked on this link:
Why do you pay what you do for what I do do?
So, now that you know why you need an officiant, let’s discuss what we actually do. Just recently I had a groom call me up, and ask me if I was available for his wedding. While we began talking about my fee, he stated “So, I pay that much for about 20 minutes of work?”
WOW! I now know why my wife gets angry with me when I come home and ask what she’s been doing all day.
First, let me say this, quite a bit of what ALL wedding vendors do, is behind the scenes. You only see a snippet of what we do on your actual wedding day. You don’t see the caterer chopping up veggies, or the photographer going through hundreds of photos and editing, or the DJ creating the music list, and carrying in all their equipment, or the venue staying up until 2am cleaning up after everyone has gone home.
We all work hard to make sure your big day is beautiful, goes off without any issues or problems, and you have the wedding of your dreams. I’m sure most all of you understand that, and we vendors appreciate it. But sometimes, some people have no clue, and that why we have to educate them on what is going on behind the scenes.
So, for me, here is a list of things I do, in a quick short order, to help you better understand why you’re paying me what I charge for “about 20 minutes of work”:
1.) I have to encourage you to book me.
That means phone calls, emails, texts, and then follow-up phone calls, emails, and texts. Answering your questions, making sure you filled out my contract, and you paid my retainer fee. Reminding you to book me before either someone else books me, or it gets too close to your wedding day. Sounds fun, right?
2.) Setting up a meeting with you.
This is where I get to know you guys. We talk all about you, and your relationship, and why you want to get married. We discuss your wedding ceremony at great length, in order to ensure you have the wedding you want. All of this allows me to create a ceremony that not only fits you as a couple, but also reflects you as a couple. Creating a personalize, unique, intimate ceremony for your wedding day. For me, this meeting is usually 60-90 minutes long with the couple.
3.) Being available to couples for questions, concerns, etc.
I encourage all my couples to reach out to me whenever something pops up, and they don’t know what to do. Listen, most people I officiate for, this is their first time. They don’t know what they’re doing, or how to do it. They’re relying on my experience, and expertise, to help them along the way. So, I tell them to be comfortable emailing, texting, or calling me as much as they need to. Do I need to do that? No. But I want my couples to feel comfortable about the whole planning process. And, added bonus, it helps when they know I’m here for them.
4.) Creating the ceremony
So, again for me, it’s all about creating a personal experience for the couple and the guests. I love it when guests come up to me, or the bride, or the groom, and ask how long we’ve been friends. That means I did my job, and helped create the perfect ceremony for them. This process also includes me following up with the couple to make sure we’re all on the same page, confirming the details of the ceremony, and making sure I didn’t miss any thing.
5.) Performing the ceremony
Now, for most people, this is a difficult task. I mean, think about it, how often are humans required to stand in front of large groups of people, and speak? Not too often. This is why it is so vital to make sure whomever you have performing your ceremony, that they can effectively communicate, speak well, and keep an audience engaged. Like I’ve said in previous posts: The wedding ceremony is the red carpet before the big premiere. It’s what sets the stage for your reception. You want them walking away, excited for you and the party that’s about to commence. You don’t want them to be hum-drum, bored to tears, and ready to head out.
One other aspect: knowing what to do , and how to do it. Wedding ceremonies are different from one couple to the next, but there are some key things that need to happen in all ceremonies, besides the legal stuff we discussed earlier. Vows, Ring exchange, etc. I can’t tell you how many times i’ve heard horror stories that someone forgot to tell the guests to sit back down, and now they’re all standing throughout the ceremony, or how great-aunt Tilda forgot to do the ring exchange. Whoopsie!
6.) Getting license signed and sent off for processing
Like I stated earlier, this is key in order to make sure you’re actually legally married. Getting the couple, and the witnesses to take a moment to fill out and sign the paperwork. Also, I have to fill out my part and sign, and ensure everything was done properly. Then, ensuring the license gets sent off for processing in a timely manner. All that fun, behind the scenes type of stuff that’s required by law.
All that for only… But wait! There’s more!!
7.) Helping with securing certified copies, and name changes
This is an added bonus for some of my couples. I always tell my couples when the time comes for them needing to get certified copies of their license as proof of marriage, or they need help with the steps of how to change their name, I mention to them to reach out to me, if they like. I’ll send them a text message/email with a mini-guide of how to do all of it, and what steps they need to take, and in what order to do it in. I want them to know, even after I’ve fulfilled my duties as their officiant, they can still use me as a resource.
Now you can see what I do do
(I know…. I said “do do” a couple of times today. That’s my inner 10 year-old coming through) 😆
I hope this helps you understand a little bit more what officiants do for their couples. Some may do more, others may do a little less, but all in all, we are doing quite a bit of work behind the scenes. So, when you hear the price from an officiant, or any wedding vendor for that matter, realize the price isn’t just about the work we do on your wedding day, it encompasses so much more.
If you’d like to discuss further how I can help you have a ceremony as unique as you, let’s setup a phone. I’d love to help you realize the wedding of your dreams!