I know, I know… I have preached for so long that you must be well organized, and you should plan as early as possible. But today I’m going to advise you to not set your ceremony time right away. Now, i’m not saying you shouldn’t set it early on, i’m just going to advise you to rethink your wedding day, and how to plan it.
I realized I may get my hand slapped by wedding venues around town for suggesting this, but I want you to take a moment and look at the whole picture. Sometimes outside influences try to get you to commit to a certain time for your wedding ceremony, but I say wait. Don’t let them dictate to you when you need to have your ceremony. Hopefully, if you consider the following, you’ll relieve yourself of unnecessary stress, and it will help the planning process go a little more smoothly for you both.
Where did this come from?
Before we get in to the 3 main points, let me explain where my thoughts on this come from. Throughout my years as an officiant, it has become pretty normal throughout the year to receive a request from a couple to officiate their wedding, and I already have a wedding booked on that day, and time. Unfortunately, I have to send them a message back that I’m already booked for that timeframe. Here’s where it gets a little iffy: sometimes these couples are reaching out to me a year in advance. I send them back a message asking if the time is set in stone or if they have flexibility. Sometimes they can be a little flexible, and I can continue on with working with them, as I can handle more than 1 wedding in a day. However, more times than not, I get a response back that the time has been set firmly by them, or by their venue. I’m left thinking “You’ve set a time a year in advance already?” Not even the NFL, MBA, or NBA does that??
And so now, here are the 3 reasons why you shouldn’t be so quick to set a timetable yet, especially if your wedding is 6 months or more out.
The list
1.) You!!
That’s right… you! First things first, this is your wedding day, you should be in charge of when you want to get married that day, not the venue or your wedding planner. There should be no pressure from anyone to immediately pick a wedding start time. I’m not saying that there will be, but there can be pressure from others.
Remember earlier when I said some couples tell me that they’ve already got their start time permanently set 12+ months out already? Yes, sometimes those couples are told by either the venue, or wedding vendor, that they need to know a start time right away. That is incorrect. Unless your wedding is less than 90 days out, that should no matter… yet.
You see once most venues book a couple, that’s it. They are not able to book another couple for that date. And with most wedding vendors, the same parameters apply. A photographer, a wedding planner, etc cannot book more than one wedding in a day, in most cases, because once they book a couple, they’re booked for most of the day with that couple. So, when the venue, or certain vendors ask you what the start time will be, you can say “TBD” or give them a ballpark idea. Let them know you have other things in consideration for the day, and will get back to them as soon as you possibly can.
2.) Family & guest
Now, I know this is your day, and you should have your wedding according to your timetable, but sometimes we do need to be aware of the challenges for some to attend your wedding at a certain time. Sometimes, depending on the day and time you pick, your family and friends may not be able to attend. Perhaps it’s work… there’s always work. Or, it’s a daily routine schedule. This happens frequently with elderly guests. Maybe they can’t drive at night, or they have daily appointments with doctors.
There’s no way you’re going to pick the absolute best time for everyone to attend, however, if they are an important part in your life, and you desperately want them to attend, then you will have to be conscious as to what their schedules are, and work your timeline around it.
3.) Other wedding vendors
Yep! Of course i’m going to mention this. Again, all these couples who do their research, reading reviews, looking through websites, and then ultimately making the decision as to who they want to reach out to for their wedding day to see if they’re a good fit. And then it happens, the time doesn’t work for that vendor, because they already have a wedding that same time, on that same date. It happens.
Before setting an official time for your wedding, you should check with other vendors to see if that time will work, if you can be flexible in the time when reaching out, you may be able to book that one vendor whom you love so much, that you’ve been following on IG and FB for the past 2 years.
I’ve mentioned this before, I will sometimes do more than 1 wedding in a day, especially during wedding season. If a couple can be flexible in their time, most times I can help them out, even though I already have a couple booked. I remember a couple years ago when I was contacted by a bride, She wanted to book me so badly. She told me she’d been following me on social media for a couple years, in hopes that one day her boyfriend would propose, and she wanted me as her officiant. I was floored and completely flattered. I mean, following a caterer, a baker, a photographer - that I could see, but following an officiant!? Wow!! Needless to say, I had a couple already booked for the same day and time. But, her time was flexible, and we were able to work together later that same day, with no issues whatsoever with her venue, or her vendors.
Believe it or not, I’ve had several over there years change their time in order for me to officiate their wedding. Crazy, right? But i’ve had TONS I've had to turn away, because for some reason they’ve settled on a starting time already, even though they’re 14 months out. I know to some it may sound ridiculous to wait on scheduling out your timeline. And to be honest, if your wedding is within 90 days, then don’t wait. But if you’re wedding isn’t for quite some time… wait!
You wouldn’t invite all your friends and family to the newest Star Wars & Marvel crossover movie, tell them to meet at 3pm, and then get to the movie theater only to find out the theater isn’t open until 6pm? So, why setup a timeline when you haven’t hired all your vendors yet?
Take a moment, and look at the big picture
So, am I telling you that you should wait to settle on a start time until you’ve talked to me? Yes, absolutely! I want to officiate all your weddings. Is that feasible? Not all the time. I get it. There are tons of factors that go in to planning a wedding, Sometimes it just won’t work, no matter how much flexibility there is. All I ask is before someone potentially tries to force you to commit to a start time, consider all the variables at play, and ask yourself if that time will work for you, will work for your honored guests, and will work for other vendors you want to hire. If you can do that, it will help with frustrations, headaches, and rearranging your entire wedding day.
If you’d like to discuss further how I can help you on your wedding day, don’t hesitate to reach out! I’d love to help create a ceremony as unique as you!!